A Quote by Joshua Jackson
For me, the desire exists less to get myself a degree than to just go and have the whole college experience, and throw myself into the brain pool and see if I can swim.
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You can live your whole life in your brain and not experience what's around you. You go crazy that way. That's why I have to watch myself when I get isolated for too long.
When you're working as an actor, you don't think that when you get out of school, it's going to be so hard to get a job. Just to get a job. Any job. Whatsoever. You don't think that people are going to see you in a certain way. Uta Hagen said this, "In my life, I see myself as just this, you know, kind of flamboyant, kind of sexy middle-aged woman. And then I see myself onscreen, and I go 'Oh my God.'" And it's the same thing with me. I didn't see myself any different from my white counterparts in school. I just didn't!
It takes a lot of people. I would not swim if it was just me. If I didn't have any teammates, I couldn't stay in a pool for two hours, twice a day, nine times a week. I can't do that. And I'm fine with admitting that. I couldn't do this by myself.
I start to see that I surround myself with broken people; more broken than me. Ah, yes, let me count your cracks. Let's see, one hundred, two... yes, you'll do nicely. A cracked companion makes me look more whole, gives me something outside myself to care for. When I'm with whole, healed people I feel my own cracks, the shatters, the insanities of dislocation in myself.
Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists. A baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food. A duckling wants to swim: well, there is such a thing as water...If I find in myself a desire, which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.
I argue with myself, get mad at myself, throw myself around the room and then apologize to myself.
I don't really have an image of myself. Now, is that true? Well, maybe I do and it's different, which is why I get shocked when I see how other people experience me. I see myself primarily in a domestic setting.
I just want to do shows because you get to see, over all the seasons, the person grow, and you get to grow with the character. That transformation, for me, is what I love about my job. I get to learn about myself and challenge myself and grow with the character. For me, it's a whole process of learning and growing.
Our pool is outdoors, but it's heated, and I've got one of those machines that produces waves you have to swim against; like a jogging treadmill, really, only it's in water. Basically, it means you can have a small pool, swim for miles, and get nowhere.
I see myself in perfect health. I see myself in absolute prosperity. I see myself invigorated with life, appreciating, again, this physical life experience which I wanted so very much as I decided to be a physical Being. It is glorious to be here, a physical Being, making decisions with my physical brain but accessing the power of the Universe through the power of the Law of Attraction.
Yeah, I like to keep myself interested - I'll kind of throw myself into some area that I don't completely know or understand, that I'm not adept at, so I'm forced to swim in order to stay afloat. There's a good feeling that comes from that.
I parody myself every chance I get. I try to make fun of myself and let people know that I'm a human being, and these things that have happened to me are real. I'm not just some cartoon who exists and suddenly doesn't exist.
That's an important lesson for me, to not qualify my experience against somebody else's. My experience is the experience that I wanted to have, and have created for myself, but it doesn't make me any more deserving than anybody else - or less.
That's an important lesson for me, to not qualify my experience against somebody else's. My experience is the experience that I wanted to have, and have created for myself, but it doesn't make me any more deserving than anybody else; or less.
But what I really want is to just swim around in a warm baby pool of these friends, jump in their dry leaf pile-to rub them all over myself, without words and clothes.
I think it is easier to hear my voice than see myself onscreen, particularly as the years progress. Watching myself onscreen becomes less and less enthralling.
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