A Quote by Kadeena Cox
It's been tricky trying to deal with managing my eating, having so many people around me and so many eyes on me, it's pushed me to do more extreme things which is frustrating for me.
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I am curious about many things, and find the world around me, and the people and objects and things in it, equally fascinating. There is a great deal of that awe and wonder in me.
That was a frustrating race for me. I pushed as hard as possible at the start on the medium tyres whilst everyone around me was on the grippier soft compound rubber. Once I moved to the soft tyres I was able to set the race's then fastest lap so things looked good with our strategy. Unfortunately the engine anti-kill triggered when I came in to make my final pit stop which cost me a lot of time. It's frustrating as we should have finished strongly. My focus is now Barcelona where I've delivered very strongly in the past.
One of the things that pushed me over the edge was that people on the Left were calling me names. How many kicks in the teeth do you have to endure.
Swimming has given me a lot. It's given me a respect for people and different cultures around the world when I've been competing abroad. I've learnt many life skills and met so many friends around the world that I might not have had otherwise. I'm focused and driven and I guess swimming has made me that way.
So many of the stories are about perspective and viewpoint. It's not just about seeing and revelation. The idea of having many different stories from many different perspectives has something to do with me trying to deal with the impossibility of having a wide enough view to say anything really convincing on that scale.
At the time it seriously troubled me, but in drafting me as Marshall Plan Administrator, President Truman did as great a favor for me as one man can do for another. It opened my eyes to many things of which I was totally unaware and it was the beginning of my real education.
Intense pain often pushed me to make changes. The pain of the eating disorder pushed me into recovering from eating-disordered behaviors, and then the emotional turmoil I experienced without those behaviors (not knowing how to cope with perfectionism, feelings, and life in general) took me even further, so that I ultimately found serenity.
Yash planned a surprise for me when I returned home from shoot recently in the evening. He took me to a temple where he had invited all the fans to see me. All of them came rushing with so many gifts for me. However, I could not accept expensive gifts; but I was on cloud nine to see people bringing so many nice things for me.
Chanting Hare Krishna is a type of meditation that can be practiced even if the mind is in turbulence. You can even be doing it and other things at the same time. That's what's so nice. In my life there's been many times the mantra brought things around. It keeps me in tune with reality, and the more you sit in one place and chant, the more incense you offer to Krishna in the same room, the more you purify the vibration, the more you can achieve what you're trying to do, which is just trying to remember God, God, God, God, God, as often as possible.
I've been really, really fortunate to have a mother that has spent many, many long hours on her knees praying for me. And I guarantee you, I would almost bet everything I have that that has saved me more often than not. So it sustains me.
It makes me feel wonderful that people still care for me... that I have so many fans among young people, who write to me and tell me I have been an inspiration.
For many people, God is primitive, behind, trying to drag everything back to some prehistoric era as opposed to spirit, force, love, drawing us into a better future, which to me is - that story has done something in me and I've seen it do things in other people.
I have way too many commitments. I get pulled in too many directions and I never seem to be able to satisfy anybody. People get turned on by knowing a celebrity, even my friends and family. They feel that there's something exciting about me, but in reality there's no substance to it. People in airports just hold on to me expecting something and it seems that I always come up empty. It's frustrating because I'm trying to please everybody, and ya just can't do that ... at least I can't.
The more and more I spoke about it, the more I found out how many people deal with it, the more I read about it and researched it, the more you start to realize how many Americans deal with some sort of mental illness on a daily basis. That gave me comfort.
The fame isn't important to me. It's a blessing to have. Having so many people that support me, that love me and listen to my music, is beautiful.
It is so frustrating to feel in danger. People have followed me around at 2 in the morning and have literally said, 'Don't make me follow you. You're not responding to me.' It's incredibly degrading.
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