A Quote by Karen Kilgariff
Any therapist can give you the expertise of their education, but we all know there's that person in our lives that's been like, 'Hey, one time I did this thing,' and that will stay with you for so much longer than the stuff that probably should, because it's from direct experience.
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I feel like I have more experience with publishing humor than pretty much any editor I'm going to be dealing with so sometimes I'll get a little bit nuts if I write something I know is good a certain way, and some editor because of some restriction he has and wants to change it that I know is going to make it less funny that'll piss me off and then I'm inclined to go, "Well, hey I've been doing this a long time, maybe you should..." That doesn't happen that often, but I'm more likely to say that now than I would have been a long time ago. Because dammit, I'm infallible!
Once you're finally in a place at Saturday Night Live that you're really comfortable, that's when you should probably be leaving, unfortunately. I think most people stay two or three years longer than they should, because it's very simple, the vacations are great, and you get good at what you do. It's like any job, you're like, "Oh, I know how to do this." You know it's a temporary thing, but it's easy not to walk away from. You find yourself going, "I'll leave next year, or I'll leave the year after." But it's a job you probably shouldn't be at for longer than five years, to be honest.
I'm not much of a revenge person, because I think when you start with revenge it cheapens what you've been through. My rule is to hold your head high and never stop looking that person in the eye, because they know and you know, and you're still the professional. And they can just feel like an ass for the rest of their lives. That's my favorite thing to do.
. . . What do you wish to be? What would you like to become?” I did not know, and I told her so, but the question worried me. Should I know? “There is time,” she said, “but the sooner you know, the sooner you can plan. To have a goal is the important thing, and to work toward it. Then, if you decide you wish to do something different, you will at least have been moving, you will have been going somewhere, you will have been learning.
Let me tell you something: for hundreds of thousands of years, this kind of discussion would have been impossible to have, or those like us would have been having it at the risk of our lives. Religion now comes to us in this smiley-face, ingratiating way — because it’s had to give so much more ground and because we know so much more. But you’ve got no right to forget the way it behaved when it was strong, and when it really did believe that it had God on its side.
If I hadn't had my children, I would have been discouraged a lot quicker. It would have been much more easy for me to say, "You know what, let the whole thing go. Have a good time, because these people, this place - it's just not worth it." You know? I can't do that anymore. I look into those eyes and they look at me so trustingly that I'm gonna make sure that [they're thinking], "Hey, you did a good thing bringing me into the world, daddy. I'm going to have a great life!"
We forget that we create the situations, then we give our power away by blaming the other person for our frustration. No person, no place, and no thing has any power over us, for “we” are the only thinkers in our mind. We create our experiences, our reality, and everyone in it. When we create peace and harmony and balance in our mind, we will find it in our lives.
People are morons. I don't do any social media stuff. I have people telling me all the time, "You should do Twitter, you should do this, you should get on Facebook." Are you insane? I'm not doing any of that crap. I stay the hell off that thing. Every once in a while, I send a business email, and that's it.
There are people who have been in this game much longer than myself. And one of the things that I've learned by way of just watching is to stay flexible because you never know what may pop up.
The process of schooling does not give birth to human beings - as education should but never will so long as it springs from the collective consciousness of our culture - but instead it teaches us to value abstract rewards at the expense of our autonomy, curiosity, interior lives, and time.
What's to be believed? Or does it matter at all? When mass murder's been answered with mass murder, rape with rape, hate with hate, there's no longer much meaning in asking whose ax is bloodier. Evil, on evil, piled on evil. Was there any justification in our 'police action' in space? How can we know? Certainly there was no justification for what they did - or was there? We only know what that thing says, and that thing is a captive. The Asian radio has to say what will least displease it's government; ours has to say what will least displease our fine patriotic opinionated rabble, which is what, coincidentally, the government wants it to say anyhow, so where's the difference?
It is very important that you should choose the person you will marry and stay with that person. There are many people now who believe in serial love, loving one person after another. I don’t think that is good for our mental health. I think we should get it over with. Love is like measles, you know. You only get it once in your lifetime and you are immune forever. I am very happy to say that is what happened to me. I am completely immune to any temptation. All men who have passed my life after I got married might as well have been sticks of furniture.
Monday morning and there's one less donut than there should be. Keen observers note the reduced mass straightaway but stay silent, because saying, 'Hey, is that only six donuts?' would betray their donut experience. It's not great for your career to be known as the person who can spot the difference between six and seven donuts at a glance.
Never did anyone ever stay longer than ten years because the resistance grows fiercer as your presence grows longer [in Afghanistan]. I don't think we are going to be any exception. What made us exempt from history?
I've never met a successful person in any walk of life - from Michael Dell to Peyton Manning to Barack Obama - that when you ask that person, 'Hey, how did you get here, and what was your road like?' They say, 'You know what? It was really easy. I slept in all the time, turned my papers in late, didn't pay attention to people and my surroundings.'
The biggest piece of advice I would give to other women and girls is that it's really hard, and I feel like we're promised in like these phrases like, "Never give up," and stuff like that, it's going to be easier if you just listen to them. In my experience, and I think the experience of my friends and other women around me, it's a lot - you have to do a lot for yourself because the world isn't as friendly to women and girls as it should be, and it's not as helpful as it should be.
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