A Quote by Kenny Beats
I never was able to pay any type of bill doing the music that I was instinctually was making 'cause I loved it. I had to kind of pivot into doing the stuff that someone had taught me about to really get on my feet.
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For a long time I wasn't listening to music, to the rock and roll stuff on the radio, because it would cause me to get sweaty. It would bring back memories I didn't want to know about, or I would get that feeling that I'm not alive 'cause I'm not making it. And if it was good, I hated it 'cause I wasn't doing it. And if it was bad, I was furious 'cause I could've done it better.
That's always stuck with me, with music. I've never really gotten jaded about it. I've always loved music for the sake of doing it, and the longer I do it, the more I like it. Hopefully, I'll be able to have that same point of view in this business, or at least with doing this.
When I first started making music, I didn't really know what I was doing. I just wanted to write songs. I didn't have a concept. I didn't think it through. I was just flailing around doing what comes naturally. It took me a really long time to step back and deal with what I was doing with any kind of perspective or self-awareness.
You meet people who are great to hang with, and you just want to make stuff. So, you just make stuff. I never would have seen that coming. I guess at this point, I can't say that I'm really picky about it. If someone wants to work with me, I'm psyched. As far as who I might call, I don't know. I've never thought about it. Maybe I don't feel like I'm able to ask. That hasn't crossed my mind. I'm that girl who waits to be invited to the dance. I'm not doing any inviting myself, if that makes any sense.
I feel like I've been doing performing my entire life. I started taking music lessons and singing when I was about ten. I didn't have one of those creepy stage moms that made me do stuff. I started bands at a pretty young age and played with my friends back in Detroit. I've always known that I wanted to do this. It was all I was ever interested in doing. I never had, outside of music, any extracurricular activities that I took part in.
I've always been making music, but I sort of went under the radar. I kind of disappeared... I was never really that comfortable with the music industry. I loved the idea of being able to express myself creatively - but the rest of it never really sat well with me.
When I was in high school, my parents had this power over me - if I ever lied or got caught doing something that I shouldn't be doing, then I would no longer be able to go to LA and continue to pursue the acting thing. So that was this sort of looming thing they could had over me that just sort of really kept me in check throughout those formative years where you would typically be lying and doing bad stuff.
For me, making any kind of resolution or saying, "I'm doing this!" can only cause pain, to get very deep.
I had been doing something for more than half of my life that I wanted to continue doing - I really loved making the film and I really love acting and it is what I want to do.
I was in the projects dreaming about doing music and now I've done music. When I had nothing to when I had something I still have this driving force that's fueling me every day and that's making ideas reality.
When I first got to L.A., I was stretching $20 a week, waiting tables, and I did that for about six months. I didn't mind it at all, I was really happy for that experience, but it made me really get aggressive about what I want. I've been doing this since I was eight, and never considered doing anything else, so I really had to kick it into gear.
I've never really had specific goals and stuff like that - I think I sort of learned early on that if you kind of let life roll in at your feet, you will get a lot of great stuff if you are just aware and open to it.
I feel very grateful. I wasn't raised with money. My parents were schoolteachers; I was raised on a small farm. It never dawned on me that I would have a job that someone would pay me to do. Much less a job like this. It would be ridiculous if I had any complaints about it. And look - I've had the opportunity to learn an entirely new set of skills, and I'm bringing them to the work I'm doing now in filmmaking.
My mom never really pushed me into doing something. It was kind of whatever I wanted to do, and that was what made me continue and have the longevity that I had in my career. I went through ups and downs in the pool when I loved it and when I hated it.
If there was no Bill Bowerman, there would have been no me. He had about as much of an impact on my life as any one person could have. He taught me about competition and ingrained it in me. He taught me not to praise ordinary performances.
I took my job for Nickelodeon very seriously, and back then, it wasn't certainly as big of a network as it is now, culturally, and people my age didn't know much about it. But I loved my time there. I really put everything I had into doing 'Guts,' and it actually taught me a lot about how to work really hard.
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