A Quote by Khoudia Diop
There were times I wouldn't leave my room for weeks and sometimes missed school because I hated how people would look at me. But my older sister helped me find the positive: She used to show me pictures of Alek Wek to say, 'See! You can be a model if you want!'
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If I took perfect pictures all the time, the people standing in the room with me, or on the carpet, would think, 'What an actress! What a faker!' That thought embarrasses me so much that I look like s**t in half my photos, and I don't give a f***. What matters to me is that the people in the room leave and say, 'She was cool. She had a good time. She was honest.'
I used to go to Caerphilly with my brother Les, two years older than me, with my mother to see her sister, Gladys. When they wanted to talk we'd have to leave the room. She'd say to her husband Stan 'take them in the front room and play the piano.'
But then I think about my sister and what a shell-less turtle she was and how she wanted me to be one too. C'mon, Lennie, she used to say to me at least ten times a day. C'mon Len. And that makes me feel better, like it's her life rather than her death that is now teaching me how to be, who to be.
Sports became a way for me to find my personality and identity in life. I had a lot of problems as a young kid like we all do with my own confidence, trying to grow up, and become a man and whatnot. Sports helped me get there. It helped me get my role in Rocky IV. It has helped me ever since in my movies and dealing with a lot of hard times between pictures and my life. I would say it's the one thing that's kept me going over the years.
It's the ultimate for me not to see how it's made. I find it vulgar when you can distinguish how something is made. I used to be a student at the Chambre Syndicale de la Haute Couture in Paris, and once I got to go to a Saint Laurent couture show. Everyone was always talking about how fabulous the tailoring was, but I was transfixed by this one particular dress. It was just a piece of fabric, but as the model was walking, you didn't know how she got into it, how it closed, where the seams were, and that, for me, was perfection. It stayed with me as a lifelong vision.
Nayeon always makes me laugh, and she is so funny when we are together. She is older than me, and she really is like an older sister. She cares about me a lot, and always gives me advice on my problems. She is an awesome sister!
I hated going to school, mainly because my sister would drive me and she would put her make-up on while she drove. That's dangerous. That should be illegal.
I think a lot of times people look at me and say, 'Well, we can't possibly hand a show over to her to run.' It seemed like executives would be worried about me controlling a room and having power, and I'd say, 'Oh, I can control a room. I can give an order like nobody's business.'
For me what photographers say about their photos doesn’t have any importance. For me it is just enough to look at the pictures. Many times - for the boring pictures - people have to say so many things about them to show you there is something to them when many times there is nothing.
Marlee has said a million times, "Wouldn't it be funny if there was a camera trained on the two of us?" because we get involved in some very interesting situations. We'll be on a plane and she gets handed a Braille menu because they think she is blind, or producers that turn to the director of a show she's on and say, "Marlee Matlin is great, but is she going to be deaf for the whole show?" She used to freak people out with the speaker phone in her car by having me sign what they were saying on the speaker phone and then she would speak herself.
It was not enough to be the last guy she kissed. I wanted to be the last one she loved. And I knew I wasn’t. I knew it, and I hated her for it. I hated her for not caring about me. I hated her for leaving that night, and I hated myself , too, not only because I let her go but because if I had been enough for her, she wouldn’t have even wanted to leave. She would have just lain with me and talked and cried, and I would have listened and kissed at her tears as they pooled in her eyes.
I was the youngest of six kids, and my brothers and sisters were kind of a lot older than me. And the one sister that was, like, in a close age range - she was five years older than me. She was my closest sister in age, and she was a loser.
My older sister Celia is an actress as well. She's a little bit older than me. So, in my formative years, she was always performing, and we would always go see her do things. And so, that just made me want to be... like her. Maybe if she was an Olympic swimmer, I would probably be an Olympic swimmer by now as well!
I think if you ask people why they watch me, there would be some common thread among all of them that I'm somewhat of an awkward older sister. I have a teen, mostly female demographic. How that happened, I don't know. But I think they see me as some sort of bizarre role model, and I'll keep trying to do that for them.
When I went to see Mrs. Clinton and we talk about the inaugural dress I ask her what would you like to achieve with this particular dress? And she said to me what I would like is - that when I walk into the room and people will look at me and say wow you look great.
I would ask my mother to show me how to walk - and she did show me. That's why I think it's funny when people say, 'Did so-and-so teach you how to walk?' And I always say, 'You must be talking about my mother, because it was my mother who taught me how to walk.'
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