A Quote by Leigh Newman
It feels like people talk a lot, in their relationships and in therapy. But my family wasn't like that. My dad wasn't and I wasn't. Things were said, but via the language of action.
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2014 was a terrible year for me. I got a lot of help from psychiatrists, doctors, and my family, but also from group therapy. I met people from so many different backgrounds, and we were all able to relate to each other. It felt like a real community, and I stole that concept for Gurls Talk.
My father, who is now in Heaven, was a supporter of La U, and I think the truth is that a lot of my family would like me to end up there. My dad was the pillar of the family, and sometimes people do things for their family as well.
Things down here in Hawaii are similar to Alabama. We go to church every Sunday. People are treated like family there just like here. There are many similarities there, and you want to be somewhere that feels like home, and that's what Alabama feels like.
I like the little chess match of how people move through space. I'm not comparing myself to Michelangelo with this analogy, but he said when he sculpts it's like finding the sculpture within. It feels that way when you are with actors, too. There's a natural way to do this with a natural language that flows and feels like real people talking. And you've just got to find it. So I enjoy that part of the process.
That's what David Caruso said to me. We were talking about the whole Emmy thing, and he said that one of the things about awards in this town is that a lot is about the drama - like the drama of the performance. And he said "Your show, The Wire, looks so real, it almost looks like a documentary. And people who aren't artists - a lot of people who vote for this stuff - don't get it."
My youngest son's pre-school class was recently asked what their dads do for work. The responses were things like, my dad sells money, and my dad figures stuff out. My son said, 'I've never seen my dad do work.' It's true. Skateboarding doesn't seem like real work, but I'm proud of what I do.
I love therapy. I talk about it a lot because I feel like, especially among black people, it's stigmatized.
My dad is from Ironwood and the last time I was in Marquette was in 1995 when my dad was still alive. Dad would have loved this. Even though my family is long gone from this area it still feels like home.
I have a pretty close family and there are certain similarities - maybe a lot of families have this - where geographically, we're separated, so there are times when one family member will be needing a lot at one particular moment, so everyone rallies around that particular family member. Then there are other moments where, if [the family is] okay, I might not talk to my brother for two or three weeks, but then if I get him on the phone at five in the afternoon, it feels like we spoke that morning.
Music feels like therapy, actually. A lot of people come out of a therapy session and feel like a weight has been lifted - I got it out, I cried, I feel good. I think for me this is just my way of doing that. It's the only avenue I have that fulfills that, that makes me feel good about myself. And I don't mean that in regards to the rewards, or like getting some good review. That's not what it's about. It's more about trying to please myself. It's really sick and weird.
Looking back, I remember my family laughing a lot. We were never the kind of people that dwelled on hard times. My family laughs when things are tough. Growing up like that, I got used to making jokes about things that were difficult. So when I started doing stand-up, that's what I went towards.
My dad took me to a high school basketball game and this very, very famous coach in Michigan, by the name of Lofton Greene - he was a guy that my dad was familiar with. He was from our hometown. And I watched the game and I said I didn't see this guy doing a lot of coaching. And my dad told me, well, it's just like a teacher - which he was - he said if you do a good job teaching during the week, when they take the test on Friday, that's not the time you have to do a lot of demonstrative things.
People tend to discuss things like relationships with family and friends, and the fact that I'm the only breadwinner in the family. And honestly, I cashed in on it.
OK, so my parents were married in 1955 and my mom knew my dad was gay and my dad knew he was gay and so I was, like, 'Why in the heck did you get married?' Like, what was going on? What was that time? It's like this crazy paradox that my whole life is based on, or my family's based on. So I spent a lot of time trying to understand '55.
There's a big difference between a movie about relationships and a movie in which people talk about relationships. It seems like a lot of people have confused the two.
You can talk about things indirectly, but if you want to talk how people really talk, you have to talk R-rated. I mean I've got three incredibly intelligent daughters, but when you get mad, you get mad and you talk like people talk. When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they're not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it's cable.
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