I was told that I had very likely been clinically depressed for a long, long time, probably since I was 15, or even 14. It explained, to me at least, a lot of my behaviour over the years.
It's a difficult world for lots of child actors, and it's difficult to be a teenager under any circumstances. Add to that notoriety and fame, and things can go really wrong. But I had a terrific family and grew up very normal in Phoenix.
It can be difficult going through a period of time where you feel depressed because it can become your identifier. In the sense that you wake up, you're depressed; you talk to your friends, you're complaining that you're depressed; you talk to your parents, you're unmotivated. You know what you could do to try to overcome it - although obviously there's no cure - but you start to feel like, 'what will happen to me if I feel better? Who am I when I'm happy. I'm so used to feeling like this.'
I've met some very difficult people and I've had some very difficult conversations and had lots of criticism, especially from away supporters who sing songs that aren't very pleasant. So I think part and parcel of life is accepting that not everyone likes you.
Being someone who had had a very difficult childhood, a very difficult adolescence - it had to do with not quite poverty, but close. It had to do with being brought up in a family where no one spoke English, no one could read or write English. It had to do with death and disease and lots of other things. I was a little prone to depression.
I had a difficult childhood. I had lots of anxiety and questions. I found the world scary and intimidating.
When you are clinically diagnosed with depression as a teenager, sometimes people don't understand it. You feel like you should be happy, especially when you have a very lucky upbringing, and you blame yourself.
It wasn't like I was clinically depressed, but I was so down. I think I was probably depressed. Nothing went my way since college, and I put my head down and kind of pitied myself. That wasn't the right way to go.
To me it comes naturally, the peaks and valleys, sadness with happiness. I've definitely had periods, maybe, where I haven't been happy. Whether it's from a breakup or the good, old-fashioned blues - but I wouldn't say clinically depressed.
Seattle's support system got me through those early, difficult years. It was a very funky, very friendly, very relaxed place that had it all for a writer.
I leaned from my friends in school. I had lots of friends; yet I was very indrawn.
I remember going on vacation for two weeks once and one of my clients who was very clinically depressed really could not handle it, really unraveled himself. That scared me. I didn't want to be in that position.
I was directed because I knew I wanted to be a novelist, but I didn't have a very good job or a way of getting published. I found those years to be among the most difficult of my life.
A stroke is a very difficult thing. You get depressed. . . . What I found was this: the cure for depression is to think of others, to do for others. You can always find something to be grateful for.
I have lots of friends, but I'm probably a terrible friend to all of them, even my family. I wouldn't be surprised if I found myself with no friends later on in life. My friends become my enemies.
I've got more friends than I've ever had in my life at the age of 39 - although given that I didn't have any friends until the age of 27, it doesn't say much - because I found the internet.