A Quote by Lewis Black
I went to New Zealand this year, and, whew man, I know a lot of people want to go there. But let me just tell you, it's 22 hours by plane. So, if you have the opportunity, don't.
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Now, they say that New Zealand is beautiful and I do not know -- because after 22 hours on a plane any landmass would be beautiful.
Look at it! It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, man! Let me go out there and let me get one wave, just one wave before you take me in. I mean, come on man, where I am I gonna go? Cliffs on both sides! I'm not gonna paddle my way to New Zealand! Come on, compadre. Come on!
In New Zealand we had this colossal squid, which was discovered just off the shores of New Zealand, between New Zealand and Antarctica back in 2003. It's the biggest squid ever found, and I know that there's things living down in the depths of the ocean that do explain the Kraken - you know, these giant things that people saw back in the day, that could take ships down - and so I know that there's stuff out there, and I like the idea that we haven't solved everything yet.
People just don't like me, and it's unfortunate, because I'm trying to get people to come down and visit New Zealand. I'm an ambassador for New Zealand... it's kind of sad.
I know a lot of famous people, done a lot of cool things. Tell you what separates me from the guys I know is knowing this (holding up Bible). The famous people I know that have so much money, it's just stupid let me tell you what they want to know from me. It's not hunting, it's not TV, it's what I gathered over my life from this.
My brain and body and nervous system, they see a plane ride, a long plane trip, as an opportunity to sleep with nothing coming in, nothing to do. I just go offline the minute I'm on the plane.
I feel like a lot of us have a story to tell, it's just that we don't get the platform or the access or the opportunity. I don't know how the goddesses and gods and the stars aligned. I got the opportunity, and I do have to note that a Hispanic woman gave me that opportunity.
I tell you what, if somebody gives you the opportunity to live your dream, wouldn't you want to do it for a lot of hours?
Writing books is fun because after I do a show for a couple hours, I'm in a bus for 22 hours. It's not hard for me to look out the window and tell a joke here and there.
There's nothing really original. Alien was a B-movie. Five directors passed on it before me. Because I was into Heavy Metal, I read it, and thought, "Wow, I want to do this." I was on a plane to Hollywood in 22 hours. It was a B-movie and was elevated to an A-plus movie by sheer good taste.
When I go to the movies, one of my strongest desires is to be shown something new. I want to go to new places, meet new people, have new experiences. When I see Hollywood formulas mindlessly repeated, a little something dies inside of me: I have lost two hours to boors who insist on telling me stories I have heard before.
I was living in the U.K. I was back in New Zealand for the New Zealand Music Awards, which is like our annual New Zealand GRAMMYs.
I've never been to New Zealand, but I can imagine it's beautiful. I don't know much about New Zealand... but I do know that I did watch 'Lord Of The Rings' so it looks really pretty.
As a player, I can tell them they don't want to rush to become a coach, because there is a lot that goes on. This is all something new to me. You can talk to a lot of the coaches... and they can tell you. Until you go through it, then you can understand what it's all about.
I love New Zealand and don't get to come there much. The south coast of Australia and New Zealand have a similar vibration, and a lot of the music comes from this kind of space.
You want to know what it's like to be on a plane for 22 hours? Sit in a chair, squeeze your head as hard as you can, don't stop, then take a paper bag and put it over your mouth and nose and breath your own air over and over and over.
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