A Quote by Lewis Grizzard
I gave 738 Rotary Club speeches, and it was just driving me crazy, so someone said, 'Why don't you charge money?'
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Whenever anyone says I've taught them things by me being myself, I'm always like, 'Really? I just thought that was like, Wednesday for me. I was just wearing a kilt and a sleeveless top in a Rotary Club, it wasn't that big of a deal.'
They've got this crazy actor who's 82 years old up there in a suit. I was a mayor, and they're probably thinking I know how to give a speech, but even when I was mayor I never gave speeches. I gave talks.
You know why dogs have no money? No pockets. 'Cause they see change on the street all the time and it's driving them crazy. When you're walking them, he is always looking up at you. "There's a quarter...."
The first club that reopened in New Orleans was Caesar's, and they called me immediately and said let's do a regular night with you here. So we started FEMA Fridays. It was the only club open in the city, and a lot of people had a lot of money from Katrina, the checks and stuff, so the joy inside that club - I don't think that'll ever come back.
When someone said, 'Let's go to a club' in New York, it often meant heels and tight dresses and money.
God gave me all this; why waste the talent that he gave me? Why not go full throttle with it all and try to become in the class with the greatest players that ever played the game? That's just a great feeling.
Someone said to me... ‘A criticism is just a really bad way of making a request. So why don’t you just make the request? Why don’t you just say, Could we work out this thing that makes me feel this way?’
I think that the reason my records are able to live forever in the club is because I actually like to be in the club. I don't go to the club to do VIP or get bottles or nothin' - I go to the club, I enjoy the people, I see what the people are vibin' off, and I see what makes me go crazy in the club also, and that has a lot of influence on what I bring to the table when I'm thinking of making a big club record.
And Ralph Nader, God bless him, still out there campaigning. Ralph Nader said today he has set a record for the most campaign speeches given in one day. He gave 21 speeches in one day. Of course, we have to take his word for it, because of course, there are no witnesses.
[Sometimes] I will go through periods where I will think 'Oh maybe I should do a commercial movie' and then I just think, someone gave me a really great piece of advice, someone from my agency weirdly, they said the only clients that are happy are the ones that just do what they want to do. So I just kind of do everything for myself.
There are always three speeches, for every one you actually gave. The one you practiced, the one you gave, and the one you wish you gave.
When I was young, I don't know how, I spent all my time in the presence of married women telling me their troubles. And when I said 'Why did you marry?' they said, 'Oh I married to get away from home.' And when I said, 'And why don't you leave him?' they gave the saddest answer in the world: they said, 'Where would I go?' So they stayed with men they didn't like because they had nowhere to go.
I had a bunch of paintings around at my house, and someone said to me, 'Why don't you just put them on Instagram? Why don't you show people these?' And I didn't want to - it was just something else I would have to do. But eventually, I was like, 'What's the harm?' And the response was so insane!
My uncle, who gave me my first turntables when I was ten, also gave me records to mix, but I never understood house music. I thought it was boring until I was old enough to go to a club and feel it, the fact that it actually makes you just want to dance.
People in Indiana like to see their politicians at the county fair or the Rotary Club.
Damon Lindelof said, "There are three kinds of prophets - crazy people, like the Guilty Remnant, false prophets, who just want money, sexy and power and use that to get it, and real prophets - and you're a real prophet in 'The Leftovers'. The voices that speak to you never tell you a lie." And I said, "Name me some real prophets." He said, "Buddha, Jesus and Muhammad." I said, "Which one am I?" And he said, "None of them. You're probably closer to Moses than anyone."
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