A Quote by Lil Durk
What really broke it down was I had my son while I was locked up, so that really affected me. I can't really have this, knowing my father was locked up when I was small. So that really out of everything - through the fame, the money, everything - that really put the toll on me: 'Oh yeah, I gotta change.'
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My nutritionist says, 'If you bite it, write it.' Writing down everything that you put in your mouth really helps. I don’t count a damn calorie. But when I’m really trying to eat healthy, I write everything down. It really holds me accountable and puts me on a healthier path.
When I was locked up, I went through a big personal change with my attitude and spiritual, everything. I went through some major changes locked up.
There are a million really good cigars, you gotta really float around cigars. It's not like being locked into a brand of cigarettes; at least to me it's not.
It's really going to happen. I really won't ever go back to school. Not ever. I'll never be famous or leave anything worthwhile behind. I'll never go to college or have a job. I won't see my brother grow up. I won't travel, never earn money, never drive, never fall in love or leave home or get my own house. It's really, really true. A thought stabs up, growing from my toes and ripping through me, until it stifles everything else and becomes the only thing I'm thinking. It fills me up like a silent scream.
I'm really into antiques. But really into it because of my father, who got me into them in the first place. He's an interior designer and he's really into going to antique shows and getting up really early on Sundays and driving out to these weird little towns north of Hamilton.
I think it would really be more like 10 films before I locked in and said, "Yeah, I'm really gonna do this thing."
So I really did stop and change what I saw I was about, and really try to put that principle into play as the center of everything - my friendships, my marriage, my career, my family, my way of being in the world. And that changed everything for me.
I was really, really, really feminine and really into cheerleading and really into figure skating and really into gymnastics. Really into everything that other boys weren't.
You have to intervene really, really strongly with people who are habitual knife-carriers, that includes stop and search definitely, you have to keep them locked up.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then a classic case of divorce really affected me.
I was heading in a self destructive direction. My priority wasn't together, wasn't in order. So me getting locked up was actually a blessing for me. It helped for me to see the light. Once you get the rug snatched from under you - I had my career and family snatched from me, and I was forced to just sit there in that box for three years and think about what I did and how selfish I was, it made me really see things with new eyes, like, hold up, why was I doing that? What the hell was I thinking about? I gotta change. Something's got to give. I can't ever come back in this place again.
Fame hasn't really affected me. I have a really close knit group around me, and my sister is always with me, so it's like a bit of a travelling circus.
I bought all the books, but I probably knew on the first day that law school wasn't for me. I didn't give up until about ten days. I don't think I really told my father. I really didn't like my father knowing my things were not successful.
I try to outline. I'm a lazy outliner. I will put the points down of each chapter or series of chapters, but it always changes. For me it's a place of evolution. I don't really know who the characters are. I don't really know what the story is. I outline and that really just gets me moving. It's like I'm drawing up fake maps, but they turn out to be correct.
Being in New York, and meeting really amazing, talented, eccentric, and bold people, and just feeling really excited about life, got me really revved up and I just felt like everything was at my fingertips - that I could try anything. I really felt invincible. It was such a shift.
I think I have to be aware of how much power words can have. And it makes me consider everything that I say before I say it, because you can really help a lot of people, or you can really, really mess things up.
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