A Quote by Lisa Lampanelli
Before, I didn't do celebrity stuff, 'cause Kathy Griffin did that, but now, if you're going to make jokes on Twitter, you have to stay current.
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I like sort of esoteric and weird Twitter jokes. But I actually unfollow people if they make jokes about a celebrity's death within the first two minutes of that celebrity dying.
Kathy Griffin, Madonna, Snoop Dogg, they're all lefties.
I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
People are writing shorter jokes. The style I've started with was almost trying to keep jokes under 140 characters before Twitter.
I'm not Kathy Griffin. I can't do 1200 seat venues. I need 300, 400 something like that.
When I did 'Esquire,' I did a lot of celebrity covers, but the celebrity cover was Hubert Humphrey as a dummy, sitting on Lyndon Johnson's lap and aping his feelings about the war. I did celebrity covers that made a difference in what was going on in American culture.
I love Kathy Griffin, I think she's brilliant, but for me, there is a line when I go OK, that's too much.
I'm obsessed with reality TV anyway - I use my knowledge of that stuff to make jokes on Twitter and Facebook to get more people to sign up to be fans.
I don't believe stuff should be made for the perfect model. I think that's where we go wrong right now in this day and age: We make stuff that's not realistic. I always told myself, if I ever did a fashion show, I'm not going to have models. I'm going to have regular-sized women.
To develop your own voice, you have to keep writing a ton, and this is something where I think Twitter is helpful. I use it to write a ton of jokes. You have to write a ton of bad stuff before you know what you're good at. And that's what some people I think have trouble with, the thought of getting past the bad stuff.
I'm a big fan of Katt Williams, Jim Gaffigan, Louie CK, Margaret Cho, Kathy Griffin, Rich Vas, Joey Vega and Matt Claybrooks.
Friends are everything. They're people you can tell anything to, do fun stuff with, laugh at the same jokes with, who understand what you're going through 'cause they're going through it, too. Friends get it.
I'm actually a big fan of Kathy Griffin because I think she's really funny. I think she's really self-deprecating, which is something I like to see in a comedian. I think those are really the best comedians: people who can make fun of themselves.
I usually need to read emails to actually wake up. I'll read these and Twitter, and my brain will start to get going about what a narcissistic monster I am. I read on Twitter who is talking about me. I'll also start making jokes for the day based on what I read on Twitter.
I just got on Twitter because there was some MTV film blog that quoted me on something really innocuous that I supposedly said on Twitter before I was even on Twitter. So then I had to get on Twitter to say: 'This is me. I'm on Twitter. If there's somebody else saying that they're me on Twitter, they're not.'
You gotta watch everything. You gotta watch how you move, 'cause you a celebrity. You're a target now, so you always gotta do that. Just stay on your tippy toes.
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