A Quote by Louis C. K.

Someday, one of your friends is gonna get divorced, it's gonna happen, and they're gonna tell you. Don't go, 'ohhhh I'm sorry.' That's a stupid thing to say. First of all you're making 'em feel bad for being really happy, which isn't fair. And second of all: divorce is always good news. I know that sounds weird, but it's true, because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce. It's really that simple.
In most professions, if you stay at the office an extra four hours every day, you're gonna impress the boss. You're gonna get that promotion; you're gonna get that raise. You're gonna at least have job security. But with acting, if you're really ambitious and you have a good work ethic and are really good at your job, it might not really matter.
What the Democrats have done is tell the poor and the middle class that the Democrats are looking out for 'em. Democrats are gonna get even with those rich people. They're gonna get there, and they're gonna have theirs taken away. They're gonna lose theirs, and you're supposed to feel good about that. You, who are poor or middle class, are supposed to feel happy, not because you have any more than you had. You're supposed to be happy because the rich that you hate have finally been screwed like you think you were screwed.
I love being divorced. Every year has been better than the last. By the way, I'm not saying don't get married. If you meet somebody, fall in love and get married. Then get divorced. Because that's the best part. Divorce is forever! It really actually is. Marriage is for how long you can hack it. But divorce just gets stronger like a piece of oak. Nobody ever says 'oh, my divorce is falling apart, it's over, I can't take it.'
It doesn't matter who the candidates are. It doesn't matter the campaign. You know that's gonna happen. The Washington Post is gonna do it, the New York Times is gonna do it, the three networks gonna do it, CNN's gonna do it, MSNBC gonna do it, all the newspapers are gonna do it. For the vast majority of them. There are some exceptions. That sameness ends up being its own authority. If everywhere you look in the media tells you the same thing, you don't have to research.
Coming into this, making music, I knew that was something that was going to be held over my head. Okay we get it, you're openly gay, but do you know how to rap? Can you really rap and deliver? And I feel like I have that pressure put on me that other artists don't. A lot of people don't have to focus on being so lyrical and actually putting on shows. Before anyone was gonna tell me I was bad, I was gonna prove that I was good.
If you're a real hip-hop fan and a real street music fan, and you just love good music, you're gonna play it from top to bottom, and you're gonna get the concept, you're gonna get the story of my life, you're gonna be entertained, you're gonna dance you're gonna feel emotion, you're gonna get the truth, whether you like it or hate it.
My mom told me, every weekend, always stay positive no matter what the circumstances. Stuff's gonna go down. It's not gonna be your race. Media is gonna take the bad before the good.
I always tell people this; when they say, 'What's gonna happen here? What's gonna happen here?' I always tell people, 'You think you want to know, but you really don't. You want to experience the event as it happens on TV.'
I feel like, when we're kids, you're sold into this fairy tale of what love is. That Prince Charming's gonna come along and save you and you're gonna live happily ever after. They're gonna rescue me from the Bronx, and we're gonna go off and live in a castle somewhere and it's gonna be awesome. He's gonna love me forever, and I'm gonna love him forever, and it's gonna be real easy. And it's so different than that.
I think really the thing you should focus on is why you're for Ted Cruz, 'cause that's I think probably much more persuasive. If you're trying to change people's minds about Donald Trump, tell 'em why you're for Cruz, 'cause you're not gonna talk a Trumpist out of it. And the reason you're not gonna talk a Trumpist out of it is because they're feeling something really good, and they don't want to let go of that.
Love is an ugly, terrible business practiced by fools. It’ll trample your heart and leave you bleeding on the floor. And what does it really get you in the end? Nothing but a few incredible memories that you can’t ever shake. The truth is, there’s gonna be other girls out there. I mean, I hope. But I’m never gonna get another first love. That one is always gonna be her.
I did what sports were supposed to be like, and I was living in my car. So you know what, fine. I'm gonna talk a bunch of sh*t. I'm gonna pose in a couple of pictures. And I'm gonna break a couple of girl's arms, and I'm not gonna feel the least bit sorry about it because you know what? At least I can feed my dog.
When people get in your face and say, 'This will pass,' you think, Are they crazy? I'm never gonna feel any better than I feel right this minute and nothing's ever gonna make sense again... You see a lot of people play this blame game. Blame, blame, blame. You know? And it's a really easy thing to do, and I'm certainly guilty of it. [You have to] look at yourself and go, 'What part of this do I need to own? Which part of this is my responsibility?' And that's the painful work that you have to go through to hopefully get some real life knowledge out of it.
I don't believe, folks, that the media people you see on TV every day from NPR to CBS to ABC to NBC to wherever are ever gonna admit they're irrelevant, and they're not gonna start acting like it, and they're never gonna say, "Gee, you know what? We might have to alter the way we're -" It isn't gonna happen, even if it means the end of them.
The reason I feel bad for Steve Kloves is because he doesn't enjoy cutting things out. He's not sitting there with scissors, just laughing maniacally, going, "Ahahaha." He doesn't like doing it. The stories mean so much to him. But it had to go. And David kept saying, "We're gonna try, we're gonna try, we're gonna try" all the way into the shoot until the very last days, when he said, "Sorry, it's just not gonna work."
So you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna do something really outrageous, I'm gonna tell the truth.
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