A Quote by Mallory Ortberg

o one is right when it comes to destination weddings. It’s a big ask, requesting people take time off work and fly off to take a cruise just to see you get married, and they’re perfectly justified in saying no if they don’t have the time, the money, or simply the inclination.
People ask me, 'Why don't you take time off?' but the working class doesn't take time off. They're out there working every day. That's what I do, too. I want them to know there is hope, and I'm out there just like they are.
When I do get married again, I'm just going to take time off.
I don't even remember how many times I've sprained my ankle. I've had stress fractures galore and torn my PCL. You just take a little time off if you have the time, and if not, you keep training until you can take the time off.
One thing I love to do when I'm working out is take my watch off, take my heart strap off, and just run - not for time, not for exertion, but just to get the blood flowing.
When I train, I love to take time off and fly to the Natural History Museum or an exhibition. I just love that. When you know your past, it will help you with your future… That’s why most of my friends are not fighters. Most of my friends are nerds like me. That’s why I have a hard time finding a girlfriend. I need someone to talk science with. I’m married to my work right now. But you never know. One day I could wake up and just do something different. Life is so unpredictable.
I'm not disciplined at all. I barely function. But I get a lot done. I take days off all the time, but when I work, I work very fast and very efficiently. But I'm always having days when I'm feeling a little anxious, and I take a day off. I work in a funny way.
When we were at school my younger brother and I were very sporty, so we did a lot of stuff outside school, club activities. Summer holidays, though, my mum would take off a big chunk of time and my dad would take some time off and I have the fondest memories of the things we'd do as a family.
I just see too many people retire and say, 'I'm going to take off, travel, spend time with my family' and they are just miserable. They end up dying. People who work and stay active, and like what they are doing, live longer.
I don't take off time from teaching to write. I take time off from writing to teach.
I've got to wear sunglasses everywhere, all the time, even if its indoors or at night time, to be recognized. That's part of my job. I cannot take off my sunglasses. For me, staying in the United States was so dark because I can't take them off.
If people like to see me with my shirt off, it's enormously flattering. But that doesn't mean I'm going to take my shirt off all the time.
If you wanna make money in music, you're better off being on the business end of it a lot of the time. And also as a musician, if you do make money, it means you had to bite and scratch and kick the whole way to not get ripped off, because at every corner, there's somebody there waiting to trip you up and take a bigger chunk.
Each time I?m coming out of my apartment I remember the quote of Coco Chanel; she said, ?Each time I?m leaving my apartment or my hotel, I?m looking at myself in the mirror and I take off one piece of my look. It?s always one thing too much.? And it?s a bit the same, always I take off my scarf or I take off my bag or jewellery because I like it simple. Coco Chanel is a great consultant I think.
There's a risk to everything you do. You can take off on a one-foot wave and get hurt; you can take off on a ten-foot wave and get hurt. You just don't think about it at all. You just go for it. When you kick out of a really big wave, it feels pretty damn good. You want to do it again.
I don't even think about the money when I consider roles, I turn it over to my agency. Money will come. I respect it but I don't thirst for it. I wish Americans thought more like Europeans when it comes to money and work. They take time off, they do what they love. We think work is the most valued commodity. Really the most valued commodity is time.
When a big company lays you off, they often give you a year's salary to 'go pursue a dream.' If you're stupid, you panic and get another job. If you're smart, you take the money and use the time to figure out what you want to do next.
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