A Quote by Mallory Ortberg
It's one thing to be a high achiever; it's quite another to privately sneer at your girlfriend's friends after feigning friendliness because they have the "misfortune" to drive a bus for a living.
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Directing your first film is like showing up to the field trip in seventh grade, getting on the bus, and making an announcement, 'So today I'm driving the bus.' And everybody's like, 'What?' And you're like, 'I'm gonna drive the bus.' And they're like, 'But you don't know how to drive the bus.'
Jaylen's a high achiever. You can be a high achiever in every which way. He's a guy that - we've talked about several times - is gonna do bigger things off the court than on it, and he's a special player on it.
I don't like guys who are conventional. I'm an achiever; he has to be an achiever. I admire drive, I admire ambition. I like a guy who keeps my on my toes.
It's one thing to execute dishes on your own time for family and friends, but quite another to perform and be judged in a competition. And that's what cooking in a high profile restaurant is. It's a competition. You're up against every other three-star restaurant in your city, and if you want to stay in business, you'd better deliver.
High energy creates more energy, more energy, more energy. It kicks off synapses, I guess. It opens up your brain and you think of one thing after another thing, after another. You can really open yourself up comedically, which is fun.
I legitimately would like to drive a yellow bus when I'm older so I've actually thought about - I want to be either a crossing guard or drive a yellow bus. Drive the kids to school or let them cross to school so, you know, that's something I'm excited about. I'm serious about that. I think that will be great.
So each of the commercials- basically it's an action movie cliché. "Bus" is very much inspired by Speed obviously, where you have a high-jacked out of control bus, and you have heroes who are trying to jump from a moving vehicle to the bus and they just can't do it because the moving vehicle can't get close enough, because all these VW cars have this distancing technology, which is really fantastic.
If there's friends around, I'll cook. Or if I have a girlfriend. But on my own I kind of fell out of the habit of it, and it's a shame really because I know it's good for me. It's something quite therapeutic.
The friendliness and charity of our countrymen can always be relied upon to relieve their fellow citizens in misfortune.
I dated my first girlfriend for, like, two weeks in high school, and when you're in high school, it's so much different. I wanted to hang out with my friends and play video games and play paintball and do guy stuff. Girls were never around for my friends group.
I'd say I get heckled quite a lot because I look quite like an easy target. If you're an alpha-male and you think you've got something to prove to your girlfriend, I think I'm the perfect person to prove your worth.
I believe that one becomes stronger emotionally by taking life less personally. If your employer criticizes your report, don't take it personally. Instead, find out what's needed and fix it. If your girlfriend laughs at your tie, don't take it personally. Find another tie or find another girlfriend.
Only friendliness produces friendship. And we must look far deeper into the soul of man for the thing that produces friendliness.
I think making friends is not being afraid to look stupid, because everyone wants a friend who is willing to be stupid and fun. If you try and be too cool, it only works in high school. After that, being uncool is a very cool thing to do. So just have fun, and don't worry what other people think of you and people will want to be your friends.
My first girlfriend in high school, I had a girlfriend in grade school, but my first girlfriend in high school was Mare Winningham, very fine actress.
So I turn once more to those who sneer at this my city, and I give them back the sneer and say to them: Come and show me another city with lifted head singing so proud to be alive and coarse and strong and cunning.
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