A Quote by Mallory Ortberg

Some people give gifts in order to bewilder, confuse, and manipulate their recipients. — © Mallory Ortberg
Some people give gifts in order to bewilder, confuse, and manipulate their recipients.
The gifts of caring, attention, affection, appreciation, and love are some of the most precious gifts you can give, and they don't cost you anything.
I'm not against gifts that entertain, but I really believe that some of the most valuable gifts that we can give are the things that help us to develop a skill and be entertaining.
I'm Jewish, so I don't really do Christmas gifts, and Hanukkah is not as big a deal as gifts are concerned, so I never actually give gifts.
If you work with such people almost on the level of spiritual direction, you see that they are people who prefer a world view of order and even punitiveness. And for some reason, there's a feeling that the male psyche is going to give that to them. And if that's your view of religion, which it is for many people, if they've never come to the mystical level, religion is for social order and to maintain social order.
See if you can give yourself gifts that may be true blessings, such as self-acceptance , or some time each day with no purpose. Practice feeling deserving enough to accept these gifts without obligation - to simply receive from yourself, and from the universe.
Some people find the gift of salvation. For others the gifts are smaller: a kind word, a good deed. But all the gifts are from God.
One of the most important lessons the Lord has taught me is that you are not your gift. That is, you are not defined by what you do or create. Jesus is a wonderful example of this. He would not allow the crowd to define Him by His considerable gifts, even though they tried to do so. Jesus always points away from Himself and His gifts and thereby wins praise for the Father. We are not our gifts. We are called to give more. Like Jesus, we are called to give ourselves. That is the real purpose behind our gifts; they are vehicles for giving the self.
Every person has unique gifts, and those gifts give him or her the power and the opportunity to accomplish great things, if he or she learns how to use those gifts and channel them in the right direction.
Christmas is the time for celebration, so I'm not against decorating, putting on lights, buying gifts. In fact, the whole reason we give gifts is the wise men gave gifts to Jesus at the first Christmas, and that started the gift-giving process.
Riches are the pettiest and least worthy gifts which God can give a man. What are they to God's Word, to bodily gifts, such as beauty and health; or to the gifts of the mind, such as understanding, skill, wisdom! Yet men toil for them day and night, and take no rest. Therefore God commonly gives riches to foolish people to whom he gives nothing else.
The things we really need come to us only as gifts, and in order to receive them as gifts we have to be open. In order to be open we have to renounce ourselves, in a sense we have to die to our image of ourselves, our autonomy, our fixation upon our self-willed identity.
It's very easy on social media to manipulate people's emotions, to manipulate their belief systems.
If you don't give education to people, it is easy to manipulate them.
No, I don't make my work in order to challenge or confuse other people's expectations - I only do what I find natural.
I did some bad stuff. I don't remember what in particular, but I did some bad stuff. So the morning of Christmas, I wake up and my brother is there, my sister, my mom, everyone's got gifts and I can't find my gifts. No gifts. They acted like Santa didn't' bring me anything because I wasn't good.
GIFTS is an acronym for Gratitude, Intention, Forgiveness, Triumphs, and Self-love. I believe that those are the principles we need to explore in order to discover our true gifts.
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