A Quote by Mardy Fish
I'd love to go back to the U.S. Open, where it sort of all came crashing down for me in 2012, and sort of conquer that place. And by conquer, I mean just get back out on the court there. I have a lot of demons from that place.
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That's sort of what we wanted to do: conquer from the margins, sort of find our place in the middle based on the fact that we were creatures of the margin and of alienation.
Back when I was very small, and we had this bathroom with these sort of paneled mirrors on the side. And I would just sit there - because it was the only warm room in the house. And I would - if I was in a bad place - I would go to my imaginary place with these mirrors, and create this entire other world to sort of help level out what I was dealing with.
To be in a beast of a musical (I mean it's huge!) gave me a sense of I don't want to say "a sense of confidence" because you already have a sense of that to get out on stage. But I think I just have a better sense of myself. It was a learning process, I really had to conquer a lot of fears and my own little struggles. I feel a little self-empowered, like "bring it on!" Bring on the next thing because if I can conquer this, I can conquer that.
I go back and watch a lot of the stuff that I did back in the day, and it was a lot of wrestling just to show that I could wrestle. And I realized that sort of stuff is sort of pointless.
Once you click into a character, to a certain degree, you can do a lot else. You can do other stuff, then come back and click right into the character. It's sort of funny that way, the way the mind works. Once it's there, it's sort of there. For the stage, for example, all through the day, you're not onstage. You're living your life, la-la-la, then the lights go down, then boom! All of a sudden, you're in this thing. There's a kind of reflex muscle trigger that happens, and all of a sudden you're back into the role. It's just getting there in the first place that's tricky.
You sort of have that meditation, that happy place I go to in my brain. The happy place may be an island or something where I'm on the beach. Something like that where I can sort of at least try to escape and try to just release my mind into that place that I want to be in, into my relaxing place.
Coming to Australia, it was just really magical for me. It just had the wow factor of a different sort of place and, more so, just being with a family that wanted to love me and to have me, because I knew back then, before coming to Australia, there was no way of getting back home or finding my real family.
For the longest, I was slightly naive when it came to the real world. There were a lot of fears I was afraid to conquer that were just holding me back from standing up for myself or taking chances.
Three and a half years in L.A. was enough for me. I would love to go back for short bursts if a film opportunity came up, but it's a unique place, and you can reach saturation point. For me it was a place where creative desire and ambition meets desperation. It's in the air; it's palpable - I just didn't want to be around that.
I still love to go back to Mitchell [his home town] and wander up and down those streets. It just kind of reassures me again that there is a place that I know thoroughly, where the roots are deep. Everything had a place, a specific definition.
Greater in battle
than the man who would conquer
a thousand-thousand men,
is he who would conquer
just one —
himself.
Better to conquer yourself
than others.
When you've trained yourself,
living in constant self-control,
neither a deva nor gandhabba,
nor a Mara banded with Brahmas,
could turn that triumph
back into defeat.
My pinkie tends to pop out of place a lot while I'm playing - I just pop it back in. I notice it when I move my hand and it feels stiff. I mean, it's been happening my whole life. It's never broken - just pops out of place real easy.
To conquer demons, first conquer your mind. When the mind is subdued, demons withdraw obediently. To control knaves, first control your own mood. When your mood is balanced, scoundrels cannot get at you.
I mean, journalism is very detailed... you try to get down in the weeds and sort out exactly what happened. And I don't think that a feature film is really a place where that happens.
I'm a firm believer that before you can go anywhere, you have to conquer the level that you are at, just like young kids do it today with video games, they have to finish one level to go to the next one. Conquer one level at the time, and only then you'll get where you want to go to.
Also for me, I don't make endless movies back to back all the time, I really sort of come to understand and love the characters that I play. And with April and Hanna you sort of go through a weird period of feeling sad about letting them go. Sometimes that takes me a week and sometimes it takes me a couple of months, just so that I can feel I can realign my own thoughts again. I do feel really, really blessed that I've had these opportunities.
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