For me, depression is very much tied to my feeling that so much is being asked of me. I have to 'perform' rather than necessarily be myself. I have to perform a perfect Margo Jefferson, at an impossibly high level.
When I arrived in Texas in 2001, I felt an enormous amount of pressure. I felt like I had all the weight of the world on top of me, and I needed to perform, and perform at a high level every day.
I have a good supporting staff around me and good teammates encouraging me every single day to perform on the field and to perform in training and I set high standards for myself as well knowing that Bayern Munich is one of the best teams in the world.
I was compelled to perform. When I say perform, I was compelled to go out and do my engagements and not let people down and support them and love them. In a way, by being out in public, they supported me although they weren't aware of just how much healing they were giving me. It carried me through.
I dont crave companionship. It stands in my way. I live for pleasure. There are few persons who can give me as much pleasure as those acts I perform myself. I would rather create pleasure according to my own whim than be subjected to the whims of others.
Being fit is almost as important to me as my face. And for me, it's a combination of being spiritually and physically fit. There are guys who want to look good, and there are guys who want to perform at their best. Being fit is about being able to perform at your best, not necessarily just looking your best.
I prefer writing for myself to perform, I guess. But if I had to choose, I'd rather perform in someone's movie than write a movie for someone else.
Being healthy is a complete lifestyle for me. It allows my brain to function at a very high degree so I can comprehend all the new things that are thrown at me. It also allows me to sleep well so that I am rested when I need to perform. Finally, being healthy will hopefully allow me to live a long and fun-filled life.
Every day I wake up, and I think about the wear and tear on my body, and will I be able to continue to perform at a high level. Sometimes I'm working with guys that are 15 years younger than me, 20 years younger than me.
When I perform, I'm just very much just being myself.
I've known white Australian girls from wealthy families who were sent to posh private schools, who knew all of that stuff, and I think would recognise much in Jefferson's book. What I related to most strongly was the sexism and misogyny Margo Jefferson had to battle.
Much of what we called "depression" was really dissatisfaction, a result of setting a bar impossibly high or expecting treasures we weren't willing to work for.
Being somebody who wants to be religious doesn't make me perfect and doesn't make me necessarily any better than anybody else. It maybe makes me better than I would have been if I didn't have that level.
Whatever's asked of me, I'm just going to go out there and perform my routes and how I've been coached all week, perform in the running game, pass blocking, run blocking, whatever it is.
I was quite a shy person growing up, and drag was very much a shield for me to perform behind.
I think as long as I feel good and am able to perform on a high level, I will keep playing because I love football so much. After that, I have many options but haven't set any goals.
I enjoy doing different kinds of things. I just enjoy being not tied too much. I feel that I'm tied to myself as a kind of traditional musician and a singer, and the history that I have ties me down.