A Quote by Marian Burros

The turkeys that most Americans eat for Thanksgiving are turkeys - losers that are mass produced and bland.

Marian Burros

Quote Topics

Bland Eat Losers Mass Most Produced Thanksgiving Turkeys

Quote Author

Marian Burros
American - Author

Thanksgiving Day - Let all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks, now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do not use turkeys, they use plumbers. It does not become you and me to sneer at Fiji.

Mark Twain

Turkeys are misunderstood. Once I adopted turkeys, I understood this large bird to be a great companion.

Linda Blair

I hate turkeys. If you go to the grocery store, you start to get mad at turkeys. You see turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Somebody just needs to tell the turkeys, "Man, just be yourselves!" I already like you, little fella. I used to draw you. If you had a couple of fingers missing, you would draw a really messed-up turkey. That turkey was in an accident!

Mitch Hedberg

I know electric knives are excellent for carving turkeys that have had their bones removed and been forced into a mold to shape them. Please note that those turkeys are called hams.

John Hodgman

I like to stuff myself at Thanksgiving, not turkeys.

Kevin Nealon

Do you realize that if the pilgrims have been chasing bobcats instead of turkeys.. we'd all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving?!

Redd Foxx

Thanksgiving day. Let us all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks now, but the turkeys.

Mark Twain

I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Some one needs to tell the turkey, 'man, just be yourself.'

Mitch Hedberg

Every year I volunteer at a hospital on Thanksgiving, deep-frying turkeys in the children's burn unit. I do it just to see the looks on their little "faces."

Anthony Jeselnik

I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.

Rita Rudner

My parents came from little, so they made a choice to give a lot: buying turkeys for homeless shelters at Thanksgiving, delivering meals to people in hospices, giving spare change to those asking for it.

Meghan Markle

On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Millions of turkeys baste themselves in millions of ovens that clean themselves.

George Carlin

It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status.

Russell Baker

Eight days ago, we were the toast of the town. Eight days later we're Thanksgiving turkeys.

Wayne Gretzky

If I were inclined to worry that the United States was veering in a dangerously theocratic direction, here's a short list of things I wouldn't fret about: a reality television program depicting the lives of ordinary Americans; a clause in a contract between parties to a business transaction agreeing that any disputes that arise between them be resolved in compliance with shared religious principles; halal soup; halal turkeys on the Thanksgiving table.