A Quote by Marie Osmond
So, babies are taken from their mothers because they get temporarily insane and it's not the mother's fault. This is the thing: they shouldn't feel ashamed. They didn't cause this. It is not something they did to themselves.
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The belief when your mother gives you away is that there's something deeply wrong. Mothers don't give babies away. There's something wrong with me, something unlovable, something seriously flawed in me. It's a fundamental thing; it's precognitive. You feel it rather than think it. How could you not?
Given Freudian assumptions about the nature of children and the biological predestination of mothers, it is unthinkable for mothers voluntarily to leave their babies in others' care, without guilt about the baby's well-being and a sense of self-deprivation. Mothers need their babies for their own mental health, and babies need their mothers for their mental health--a reciprocal and symbiotic relationship.
I get crazy upset when I feel mothers or babies are not getting the loving care they need.
I remember hearing stories from my mother and father about their parents and grandparents when they were taken off the reservation, taken to the boarding schools, and pretty much taught to be ashamed of who they were as Native Americans. You can feel that impact today.
You never know in retrospect whether you did or didn't do exactly the right thing, stay-at-home mothers, gone-away mothers, all ofus worry whether we should have done something differently than we did.
I think we spend a lot of time denying our mothers. We understand other women earlier than we understand our mothers because we're trying so hard to say, "I'm not going to be like my mother" that we blame her for her condition. If we didn't blame her for her condition, we would have to admit that it could happen to us, too. I spent a long time doing that, thinking that my mother's problems were uniquely her fault.
I have since talked to some of my girlfriends sexual assault and found out that they had their own experiences that they never shared at the time. It was never talked about it. And I think it's because of that normal response - you feel badly, you feel responsible, you feel guilty, you feel like you did something wrong, you feel ashamed.
But you can't always tell - with somebody's mother, I mean. Mothers are all slightly insane.
There are legions of us, I realized. The mothers who have broken babies, and spend the rest of our lives wondering if we should have spared them. And the mothers who have let their broken babies go, who look at our children and see instead the faces of the ones they never met.
The difference between guilt and shame is very clear--in theory. We feel guilty for what we do. We feel shame for what we are. A person feels guilt because he did something wrong. A person feels shame because he is something wrong. We may feel guilty because we lied to our mother. We may feel shame because we are not the person our mother wanted us to be.
When it comes to babies and children and being a mother, there is so much to talk about. There are products that I keep discovering - endless products! People love to read about these things. And I interview cool mothers, mums with babies, and mums with teenagers... all mums who I admire.
A lot of women have trouble with their mothers-in-law.” Raphael’s look was priceless. “My mother is an insane archangel.
American popular culture, like individuals in daily life, tends to either romanticize or demonize mothers. We ricochet between 'Everything I ever accomplished I owe to my mother' and 'Every problem I have in my life is my mother's fault.'
I wasn't going to have enough money to pay for a Good Lifestyle, which meant I'd feel ashamed, which meant I'd get depressed, and that was the big one because I knew what that did to me: it made it so I wouldn't get out of bed, which led to the ultimate thing—homelessness. If you can't get out of bed for long enough, people come and take your bed away.
Babies don't need fathers, but mothers do. Someone who is taking care of a baby needs to be taken care of.
If there is one thing I will never have, it is an eating disorder. I won't have girls - even if it is just one or two who care - thinking that. Because it is a serious sickness, not something to plaster on the cover of a magazine. And I am the opposite. I want girls to love themselves. I want them to feel good about who they areThe thing is, I'm lucky because I was loved. But I have seen so many young women who can't feel good about themselves because they just don't have that love.
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