A Quote by Matt Damon
It's very frustrating [ to work under director's control], not just because you're getting rejected constantly, but also because you're at a time in your life where you have an enormous amount of creative energy, and there's no way to express it. That's why a lot of people get into drinking or drugs or whatever.
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There is a sort of creative purity in an independent film, in the passion of the director, the passion of the crew. They're not getting a whole lot of money, so you know they are not there because they want to get rich. Instead, they are there because they want to make a movie. In the bigger films, I remember when I used to do those, it's just a job for a lot of people, so there is less of an intense energy devoted to the whole project.
As an actor, you are sort of only in charge of yourself. All you can really control is your performance. You don't know what they're going to do with it in the editing room, what they're going to cut out, which take they're going to use. You know, your control is very limited. As a director, it's ultimately your piece. You have a lot more responsibility, but you also have a lot more creative control. It's scary, but also liberating in a way.
The odd thing is, I don't consider what I do work, because it's what I love. But it is also an enormous amount of pressure, and you have to work an enormous amount of hours.
There's enormous energy required to carry grudges - enormous energy! And I'm getting too old to expend my energy that way, cause I think every person has a limited amount of energy. So I have given up all grudges.
There are times when you cannot even control the sugar level in your body. Remember that when you put sugar in your metabolism, you are upsetting your metabolism in a very direct way. X amount of sugar is understandable, but the amount of sugar you put in, only God can save you. And whenever you put x amount of sugar, you must follow the law of depression. When you get that kind of depression, you lose a lot of friends. Therefore, it is very fair to channel your energy. One of the best ways to channel the energy is to do the pranayama.
I've dodged so many bullets. Not just because of unsafe sex, but because of the amount of drugs I did, the amount of alcohol, the amount of work I was doing. I started the Elton John AIDS Foundation because I got so lucky.
You have the upmost amount of energy because you're not just having a cocktail at the end of the night. You're actually not drinking alcohol and you're keeping your body really clean and it's an amazing feeling to be getting out all the toxins.
I get mad at people who talk about traumatic job interviews, about going on one and getting rejected. I get rejected all the time and not only do I get rejected, but people have no problem being really specific about why I was rejected.
You can't work at a relationship; you can't control it. You have to be lucky and go through your life. If you are not lucky you have to be prepared for some degree of suffering. That's why most relationships are very difficult and have some degree of pain. People stay together because of inertia, they don't have the energy. Because they are frightened of being lonely, or they have children.
Delegate - work smarter not harder; do what you do best and drop the rest; get control of your calendar; do what you love because it will give you energy; work with people you like so your energy isn't depleted.
There've been moments where I just was tired of being in L.A. It was very difficult. I mean, you're constantly rejected. And that's OK, it's just really frustrating for me, because I try to read scripts and projects that have really great, deeper, meaningful qualities to them.
A lot of people that are in the disease of drinking and using can be caught up on the denial aspect of it. I don't have a problem with that. I am very sensitive. I can just feel when things are getting out of control and I go, 'Oh, you have to deal with this. Because you can die.' I've always sort of had that.
'Control' had to do with my own life a lot, and that's why that seemed to be a film I could be the director of, because I had an emotional attachment to the whole story. And because of that experience, I feel that I can try other films. I didn't set out to become a director.
The great thing I think when you do independents is that people are really there for the same reason. They're not there because they got a lot of money and they want to just go home and get it over with. They're there because they believe in the script or the director or the cast or whatever it is, and they want to make it work.
So this is why I write. Because most times, your life isn’t funny the first time through. Most times, you can hardly stand it. That’s why I write, because life never works except in retrospect. And writing makes you look back. Because since you can’t control life, at least you can control your version.
I was tired of just kind of being on that express train, whatever you want to call it, so to speak. It just sort of shoots forward, and you have no creative autonomy, no control over your time, and there's not much time for side projects or family and friends.
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