A Quote by Matt Hardy
When Jeff and I were first starting out and trying to make a name for ourselves, we were doing indy shows, and would take whatever we could get just to have as much in-ring time as we could.
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When I first got my ring name as Carmella, I knew I was just going to do whatever I could to create this over-ridiculous, over-the-top character that would just help me get my face, and I don't even know what I'm trying to say, but just get me out there and just show, like, 'OK, wow, we need to pay attention to this girl because she has something.'
When I went to college in 1988, most people were probably trying to figure out how they were going to decorate their rooms, who was going to be on their floor, what classes they were going to take. My big preoccupation at that point was figuring out how I could get my absentee ballot so that I could vote in Ohio for Michael Dukakis at that time.
There is so much good music from our scene in the U.K., and I'm happy I'm part of that movement. For a long time, we were trying to do what the Americans were doing, we were trying to do what the pop stars from England were doing, and we just didn't understand.
So the recordings were these immersive landscapes, and yet, unlike the performances that almost no one would see, I had a sense that these could live forever. I was just starting to get my head around the democratic aspect of art; I didn't want to make rarefied things that were either alienatingly obscure or elite and art-worldy, so a recording that anyone could buy was a great medium.
When we were doing noisier shows, they were fun, but we were trying to be really obnoxious and it wasn't like we were trying to make good music. I mean, I'm happier when we have smoothed out a little bit. I think that the spirit of the noise and experimental stuff is still there, but it's easier to do when you're a freshman in college.
A lot of coaches could ration out their time. They could delegate. They would make time for their family. But when I was coaching I would almost laugh at those guys. I knew we were working the extra hours to get an edge on them.
But here's the deal: If I were smart, I could figure out curling. If I were even smarter, I could figure out why people would actually watch other people doing it. I have tried. I can't. I can't even figure out the object of the game. Is it like darts? I just don't get it.
I probably had the most fun ever in the ring with Christian. And it was because he could just pick stuff up out of thin air and make it something. Neither of us were these big high-fliers; none of us were power guys doing these big, crazy moves. But the finesse and the things were smooth with me and him.
At one time, when I was first starting, when I was first champion, I wanted to be undisputed champion so I could hold all the belts and no one else could say they were champion. Then you realize the boxing business, the politics, get involved and it's not very likely you can accomplish all that.
I really wanted something that could make a statement about what we were doing and the life we were living in society, and the shows that push the boundaries, in those ways, are shows on cable, particularly networks like Showtime.
We tried so hard. We were always trying to help each other. But not because we were helpless. He needed to get things for me, just as I needed to get things for him. It gave us purpose. Sometimes I would ask him for something that I did not even want, just to let him get it for me. We spent our days trying to help each other help each other. I would get his slippers. He would make my tea. I would turn up the heat so he could turn up the air conditioner so I could turn up the heat.
When I was a teenager, I didn't get to do a lot of the things that other kids my age were doing because my dad was very controlling and he wouldn't allow me to go to school activities, like games and dances. So I didn't have positive expectations for my future or really dream about what I could do with my life. I was just trying to survive until I could get out on my own.
The two years out on loan were about trying to get experience and work as hard as I could to make sure when I came back I could give myself the best chance to get back to Chelsea and get in the team. That was my goal.
In the beginning, me and my bandmates just did stuff on our own - we had smoke bombs, we'd dress as crazy and as weird as we possibly could, just to give ourselves a different ambience. But when we started making money, of course, the ideas started getting bigger. We were big fans of Broadway; we were like, "Man, when you go see a Broadway show, you just get pulled right out of reality; you're into their world for a two-hour period. It would be nice if we could do that onstage with a music concert".
I don't know if it was related to the type of music that we were doing at that time or what, but Todd Cook actually just turned to me and was like, "You know what would be a great name for a metal band? Dead Child." We talked half-jokingly that we were going to do a band. I guess as time went on, I started writing songs that were more metal sounding, and it just evolved from there. It actually started with the name first, and then the songs came second.
My chief reason for choosing Christianity was because the mysteries were incomprehensible. What's the point of revelation if we could figure it out ourselves? If it were wholly comprehensible, then it would just be another philosophy.
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