A Quote by Max Greenfield
I'm just not one of these guys who, like, you know, woke up with a six-pack. I need Skittles. I have to eat very particularly and I have to work out like a madman. And then it looks like... okay.
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I remember this one time I had a dream about me writing a screenplay, and when I woke up, you know those dreams that feel so real, but I woke up and I was like, 'Oh my god I have this amazing screenplay I need to write down as soon as I wake up' and then I woke up and I was like what the heck was I dreaming of?
Growing up, I ate a lot of candy. If you were my dentist, you would know that, you know, but I eat a lot of candy, so from eight to probably, like, 15, you wouldn't see me without a pack of Skittles.
Then maybe it's time to change that." Della sat back in her chair. "Change what?" Kylie asked. "Come out of the closet. You know, like...'I'm gay and here to stay.' You'd need a different slogan, but maybe, 'I'm a lizard and if you don't like it, I'll eat out your gizzard.'" Della chuckled. "Okay, it needs some work, but you get what I mean.
And guys will say looks matter, but they'll also say things like "Well, she should be smart and kind." And you know those are... so the typical responses and if you give them just a few options, like five or six, then they will rate them on the very characteristics that they said were really important to them.
So okay, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair-ew!-and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so.
When I wake up I look like a madman, like something out of a horror movie! That's why I sleep alone. But the funny thing is that I'm very impeccable and clean before I go to bed. It's just like right before I'm going out.
I work out the other bits, too, but I need to know what I look like, very early on. And then it's like a template; I'll fill that person out. If I get that out of the way, then I'm all right.
Yeah, a lot of people ask me to take my shirt off, which is aggressive. I wish that I were just one of those guys who was just like, 'You know, look, when I was seven I had a six-pack, and it just never went away.'
Yeah, a lot of people ask me to take my shirt off, which is aggressive. I wish that I were just one of those guys who was just like, "You know, look, when I was seven I had a six-pack, and it just never went away."
I'm not in the media that much, so people don't know my personality very well - they just know my work. I feel bad for people who have to read about my personal life and my relationships and see photos of me going through security at an airport. It's like watching a commercial for a hamburger that looks delicious, like a Big Mac, and then going to where they make it and taking photos of what it looks like behind the counter, and it's horrifying.
There's like ten minutes when it's like, 'Okay, wait, who is this guy again?' And then, you know, I just put on the calculator watch and the glasses, and just be all, you know, inappropriate. And then it just works out fine.
The way that I write is I just write a ton of music in the background of my life, and then I just bring it into rehearsal. It's, like, 'Okay, guys. It goes like this. Let's smooth it out.'
For me, I have to say that I like to work a lot too, but I like not working better. The perfect scenario is when you just worked and you know something's coming up, then you have four, five, six months off. But you know you're going to have a job later.
What happened when you woke up?" "I was having a dream. I don’t know what it was, but when I woke up, I had this awful realization that I was awake. It hit me like a brick in the groin." "Like a brick in the groin, I see." "I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare." "And what is that nightmare, Craig?" "Life." "Life is a nightmare." "Yes.
When you look at the... atmosphere on the limb of the Earth, I wouldn't say it looks unhealthy, but it definitely looks very, very fragile and just kind of like this thin film, so it looks like something that we definitely need to take care of.
Dating is like trying to catch a fish. Some guys go to the gym and have huge muscles and six-pack abs, and that attracts a lot of women. Other guys, they go and learn how to become pick-up artists so they charm their way into a woman's heart, at least for the night. Then there are guys like myself, who don't have either of those, but we have some level of generosity and can treat women with respect and open a door for them or buy them gifts. And surprisingly, buying presents happens to be one of the languages of love! And it's one that many women relate to.
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