A Quote by Mayim Bialik
I came to parenting the way most of us do - knowing nothing and trying to learn everything.
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We are learning all the time - about the world and about ourselves. We learn without knowing that we are learning and we learn without effort every moment of the day. We learn what is interesting to us... and we learn from what makes sense to us, because there is nothing to learn from what confuses us except that it is confusing.
Suddenly, one day, there was this thing called parenting. Parenting was serious. Parenting was fierce. Parenting was solemn. Parenting was a participle, like going and doing and crusading and worrying.
Look what we are trying. You call it dharma, but it is not. What we are trying is to come together; come together to an understanding. The difference is, the discipline is, the commitment is that we are going to come together with the following guiding lines: 'May the long time sun shine upon you, all love surround you, and the pure light within you guide your way on.' When we came together we decided we would guide our way on. My way and your way we already know, so we do not need to learn that. Each one of you knows 'my' way and 'your' way. All we have to learn is 'our' way."
I know I am a human being. I can give myself to one year for a project. That is why I say I'm primitive in the way I work, especially compared to most artists. I came to New York in 1974, knowing that it is the art center of the world. But I didn't go to find people for my work. I do the work, and the people come to me, and I learn from them. That has always been my approach - to do the job first and then to respond to it after I finish and learn what people think about it. That's how I develop, and I'm more of an outsider in that way.
My approach to parenting is that everything is open - everything. I'm not very good at covert, or subtle, and I've had to learn timing. I do blunder in a bit.
Any parent who says parenting came easily to them is not being honest with themselves. Parenting is hard.
I'm not a parenting expert. In fact, I'm not sure that I even believe in the idea of 'parenting experts.' I'm an engaged, imperfect parent and a passionate researcher. I'm an experienced mapmaker and a stumbling traveler. Like many of you, parenting is by far my boldest and most daring adventure.
You learn nothing about someone by the way they win the fight, you learn everything about the way they lose and keep coming back.
Parenting is a profoundly reciprocal process: we, the shapers of our children's lives, are also being shaped. As we struggle to beparents, we are forced to encounter ourselves; and if we are willing to look at what is happening between us and our children, we may learn how we came to be who we are.
A concern with parenting...must direct attention beyond behavior. This is because parenting is not simply a set of behaviors, but participation in an interpersonal, diffuse, affective relationship. Parenting is an eminently psychological role in a way that many other roles and activities are not.
The first idea of Captain Fantastic was a pretty radically different one. The genesis had to do with parenting and questions about parenthood and fatherhood specifically. I have two kids and I was grappling with what my values were and what I wanted to pass to my children. So I was positing different kinds of parents and different ways of parenting. I played with various ideas - very permissive parenting, very restrictive parenting and then I came up with the character of Viggo Mortensen, and much of it was aspirational, some of it was autobiographical.
Living on the street as a kid changed the way I looked at everything. It was a different time and while it had its dangers, it was nothing like it would be today. It was the Summer of Love and there was a real sense of community among us. We were hippies who looked out for each other instead of trying to rip each other off. We only had to watch out for the police who liked to roust us just on general principles, and the kids who came in from the suburbs to do a little hippie-bashing.
Men like us are good and proud and strong...if we had a faith, a God, nothing could undermine us. But we had nothing, we had to learn everything, and living for honor alone has its weaknesses.
What I'm trying to do is help people understand if for one day they could have the best day ever, where there energy and there focus and everything is super clear and they feel like a great golden god... if you do that one time you know you're capable of it and you can start working towards that. Most people I know have felt like crap without knowing it most of their life. They've never had a wonderful day. Once you have that day, you can learn how to kick more ass repeatedly.
Parenting is not giving your child everything they want. Parenting is not being your child's friend. Parenting is about preparing your child to be a useful and respectful person in society.
Do you know how much you can learn from a mere pair of high-heels? If you don't fall, you'll learn a bit, but If you do fall, you'll learn everything. If you become successful, you'll learn a bit, but if you fail, you'll get to learn everything. Success is the dumbest teacher, not the other way around
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