A Quote by Megan Rapinoe

I do wish, when I was younger, that I knew that I was gay. It would have made things a lot clearer for me. Really. Looking back on it, it was so obvious, but it never really dawned on me. Socially, I felt like I didn't know how to be and who to be. If I had known back then, it would have given me more self-confidence.
For the most part, it was never assumed that I was gay, and I've had people be sort of surprised that I was gay or act apologetic like they didn't know, which would just make me really uncomfortable. And I never had shame for it, but I never felt like introducing myself as, 'I'm Antoni. I'm gay. How are you?'
I know this sounds weird, but getting hurt was one of the best things that ever happened to me. It really gave me a different perspective. Before, everything was going how it was supposed to be and I wasn't really appreciative of what I was doing and what it took to be there. The injury grounded me in a lot of different ways. The rehab process makes you stronger on all fronts, mentally and physically. I feel stronger and a better person for it. I would never wish it on anyone, but I don't wish I could take it back.
When I was younger, I used to do that a lot: I would hear a part of a song that would really relax me and then put it on repeat. That would send me to sleep. It was quite obvious classical music, people like Penguin Cafe Orchestra, Erik Satie, Claude Debussy, Maurice Ravel.
I had a lot of older musicians looking out for me, teaching me, and showing me things when they saw how interested I was in music from a young age. They would take me to the side and just play some things in my ear, and I would try to play it back to them.
I suffered a lot of setbacks when I started; I didn't have any work experience and no real confidence to go after the career that I knew in the back of my mind I really wanted. It affected my confidence as knock-back after knock-back left me feeling like I might never succeed.
Oh, my God. It hit me like a tsunami then: how perfect he was for me, how he was everything I could possibly hope for, as a friend, boyfriend - maybe even more. He was it for me. There would be no more looking. I really, really loved him, with a whole new kind of love I'd never felt before, something that made every other kind of love I'd ever felt just seem washed out and wimpy in comparison. I loved him with every cell in my body, every thought in my head, every feather in my wings, every breath in my lungs. And air sacs.
I feel like I turned down a lot of things that I wish I hadn't. But you never know when you're younger. I don't have regrets about certain things I turned down. Those films would have required things of me that would have been challenging, and they ended up being really good movies. But I was never a careerist, I never thought in those terms. I'd be like, "Oh, I'm tired. I don't want to work."
I always knew looking back on my tears would bring me laughter, but I never knew looking back on my laughter would make me cry.
But you could miss me with all that, diss me then crawl back. I really wish yall would fall back, but gettin rich suppose to solve that.
I would get songs sung to me, like 'Old Man River, 'or kids would call me Mississippi and things like that. At the time, I wished I had a name that blended in more with my surroundings. Now, though, I've really learned to love it. From fifteen, I really liked it. It felt appropriate. Before that, I don't think it quite fitted me. I had to grow into it.
I feel like it's me singing back to myself as a younger person and saying have confidence in being a bit different. I really felt I didn't fit in. My dad was from the Caribbean, my mum was English, we lived in quite a white area but we were quite poor, but also quite brainy, and I was a really, really skinny child so I felt a bit awkward about all these things.
Once we got signed, I moved out of my house because I was having teenage issues with my mom. It really wasn't my fault, looking back. You know, I'm gay; it's weird. It was one of the things. She has no problem with me being gay, but she had a problem with me dressing the way I do at first.
I think in some ways, I would go back home, and I didn't really quite fit in and couldn't - didn't have a person to bounce those experiences off of. So I felt a little bit trapped within me, and it made me feel lonely because I really couldn't - the things that were exciting to me, I couldn't really share those with another kid and that other kid understand that.
I take responsibility for the times I was arrested and the things that I did. Me being 33 now, I look back on those times and I wish that a lot of things I didn't do. I wish I could have back because I see how much I influence people. People wanna follow in my footsteps and I wish that I can now do more positive things, and that back then I'd done more positive things.
I am a rare occasion. I think if everyone had known it was going be me who succeeded, they would have supported me a lot more. They would have known what to do with me a lot earlier. They just didn't know.
Everything felt fragile and freshly come upon, but for now, at least, my depression had stepped back, giving me room to move forward. I had forgotten what it was like to be without it, and for a moment I floundered, wondering how I would recognize myself. I knew for certain it would return, sneaking up on me when I wasn’t looking, but meanwhile there were bound to be glimpses of light if only I stayed around and held fast to the long perspective. It was a chance that seemed worth taking.
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