When I first went on Britain's Got Talent I was famous for my cheap suit, my wonky teeth and the fact that I sold mobile phones for a living.
Hair is the first thing. And teeth the second. Hair and teeth. A man got those two things he's got it all.
To think things out properly and fairly, a fellow's got to be calm and old and toothless: When you're an old gaffer with no teeth, it's easy to say: 'Damn it, boys, you mustn't bite!' But, when you've got all thirty-two teeth.
It's one of the worst-kept secrets of family life that all parents have a preferred son or daughter, and the rules for acknowledging it are the same everywhere: The favored kids recognize their status and keep quiet about it - the better to preserve the good thing they've got going and to keep their siblings off their back.
I came to London during what was called the second British invasion. The music was from Britain, the fashion was from Britain, everything was from Britain, so I knew I had to be in Britain.
I got rid of my teeth at a young age because I'm straight. Teeth are for gay people. That's why fairies come and get them.
I shaved away my teeth and made them into little pencil points for nice teeth, that's kind of weird if you think about it. I was a notorious teeth-grinder, so all my front teeth became a couple millimeters shorter.
Certainly, people can get along without siblings. Single children do, and there are people who have irreparably estranged relationships with their siblings who live full and satisfying lives, but to have siblings and not make the most of that resource is squandering one of the greatest interpersonal resources you'll ever have.
With a diplomat father, for whom foreign postings were a fact of life, my siblings and I were expected to attend boarding schools in Britain.
We have got to eliminate the gringo, and what I mean by that is if the worst comes to the worst, we have got to kill him.
"Statues are too much like dolls, and dolls are creepy. You keep expecting them to blink. And the ones that smile, like this?" Eve kept her lips tight together and she curved them up. "You know they've got teeth in there. Big, sharp, shiny teeth." "I didn't. But now I've got to worry about it."
You've got food stuck in your teeth," Vee told Marcie. "In the crack between your two front teeth. Looks like chocolate Ex-Lax.
These teeth were the best and worst decision of my life.
Britain deserves better than people who say they've got a quick fix but won't tell you what it actually means for Britain, we need a much bigger conversation than this.
I've knocked my front teeth out. I've got fake front teeth.
I don't know how to construct a career that'll make me famous. Except maybe get my ears pinned back, get my teeth done, and go to America. But then I'll be competing with billions of actors who haven't got false teeth, and who are 25.