A Quote by Michael Ian Black
Let me tell you, the life of a C list celebrity is pretty sweet. If I want to go to an Applebee's, all I have to do is, literally, walk in the door. They seat me as soon as the other people ahead of me are seated.
Related Quotes
As soon as I walk out that door, you're gonna decide you want me back. You might even tell yourself that you're in love with me. But you're not. You never will be.
When God gives you a door, if you want access, you go through that door. People didn't like Jesus. Oh, they had all kind of reasons to hate him but Jesus said, "I am the door. Any man who enters must come by me. If you don't come by me," he said, "you're a thief and a robber."
Well, if Omarosa Manigault is the door to Donald Trump, well I kind of like that door. That's a pretty door. That's an intelligent door. That's a spiritually rooted door.
I am tired, I want to go home. I want to continue my art work, I want to plant a garden, I want to walk in the forest, I want to walk in the fields, I just want to lie down on the grass and feel the sun against my skin. I want to be able to hold my family close to me and not have someone tell me time's up.
One of the things I have always said about the man-woman relationship is that I don't want anybody to walk ahead of me, and I don't want anybody to walk behind me. I want a man who will walk along beside me. And that's how I feel about equal rights.
One of the things I have always said about the man-woman relationship is that I don't want anybody to walk ahead of me and I don't want anybody to walk behind me. I want a man who will walk along beside me. And that's how I feel about equal rights.
I can't walk in an airport, walk into a gym, where the kids in the gym don't come to me and ask me about Allen and tell me he's their favorite player of all time. And everywhere I go in airports, people look at me, and they, 'You're Allen's coach.'
To me, in life, if there's, like, a rule, and I think it's ridiculous, then of course I'll circumvent that but also point out how ridiculous the rule is. Other than that, if I go to a concert, and my seat is Row G, Seat 12, I'm sitting in Row G, Seat 12. I don't care if I'm with five other friends, I'm supposed to be in Seat 12, that's my seat.
A whole bunch of people told me that if I went to WWE, I'd never make it. But it's like I never heard them. I never listened. To me, I'm exactly where I belong. I feel like I was born to do this. Whatever your walk in life is, you pick what you want to be, then go ahead and be the best one.
People tell me they idolise me, want to be like me, but I tell them, 'trust me, you don't want my life.' I've been a very tortured soul.
As soon as I read the script for Hannah Montana, I knew it kinda related to me. I wanted to disguise myself as not some celebrity's daughter, just be me and find people that like me for me.
When it comes to staying myself - my career isn't my life, it doesn't come home with me. So it's a piece of piss staying grounded and not being changed by it. The same things I've always liked still satisfy me. My team's the same and my group of friends are the same. Of course I'm bowled over by people's response to 21, and when I meet artists I love, it blows my mind. But it baffles me as well. I go home and my best friend laughs at me, rather than going to a celebrity-studded party to rub shoulders with people who know me but who I don't know. I'm Z-list when it comes to that sh**.
I'm not a celebrity, but when I walk into Hobbycraft and someone comes up to me to tell me how great one of our products is, it's a bit of a surreal experience.
If I walk on the street, if I go to a restaurant, people come to me and say: "Can we take a photo together? Can you give me your autograph?" They would bring their expensive Armani or Prada wallet to sign. Other people who are desperate show me a photo of their dead daughter and ask: Can you support me? I tell them: How can I? Morally, of course, I sympathize with you. But I cannot support you and you cannot support me. This is the condition of this society. We are separated.
I'm in a unique situation. I'm 5-foot-6, 175 pounds, so I wouldn't say people are super afraid of me. I live a normal life. I don't walk into a room and everybody looks at me and says, "He plays for the Cleveland Browns" or "He's an NFL superstar" - that doesn't happen. I go under the radar. Most people don't realize who I am until I tell them. So it's not like my life has changed since I've been in the NFL or people treat me any different.
The way I view touring and shows, for me, is that I really like playing, but that's not the thing that fuels me. I am much happier writing and recording. For me, performing is exclusively for other people. I let people write me to tell me what they want to hear. I'll play any of it.
I buy water at the liquor store across the street from where I live. So I'm walking into the door, and standing, loitering, outside the door is a man. And I walk by him to go in, and he says, "I want pussy!" Now, I don't want to seem conceited or anything, but he was talking about me!
Related Authors
Bill Maher Quotes
American
Comedian
Craig Ferguson Quotes
Scottish
Comedian
David Letterman Quotes
American
Comedian
Demetri Martin Quotes
American
Comedian
Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
American
Comedian
George Carlin Quotes
American
Comedian
Jay Leno Quotes
American
Comedian
Jim Gaffigan Quotes
American
Comedian
Jimmy Fallon Quotes
American
Comedian
Joan Rivers Quotes
American
Comedian
Mitch Hedberg Quotes
American
Comedian
P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
American
Comedian
Robin Williams Quotes
American
Comedian
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
American
Comedian
Stephen Colbert Quotes
American
Comedian
Steven Wright Quotes
American
Comedian