A Quote by Michael McIntyre

I think everyone wants to know why I look like this. These jokes I make about looking Chinese... My mother's from Hungary and my dad was from Canada. There's a lot of immigration in my past.
Why would I talk about the past when I got a bright future? What kind of money is the past gonna make me? Everyone wants to know information. Now, if you wanna know information, if you want history, you're gonna read a history book. The past ain't gonna make you no cash.
When we make jokes about being lazy, or things that look like we're lazy parents, we don't want to make it appear like we're not also incredibly hardworking people when it comes to striving at our vocational things. I do think it's a conversation, but a lot of times, you make sacrifices for the sake of jokes, or for the sake of a scene.
I say a few good things about Canada in the book, you know. Americans are weird, though. We refuse to look at other countries. Start with Canadians - I want to think you aren't that different, so why can't we do our incarceration policies more like Canada? If we still had a 1970 level of incarceration which was the same as Canada's then and now, I never would have written this.
There are some concerns that are universal. Everyone wants to be loved, and everyone wants to feel like they belong somewhere in the world. Everyone wants to do something and feel like they have a sense of purpose. These are just the things that I think about and the things that make their way into my songwriting.
My dad cooks beef in Guinness, I don't know why he does that, he adds chocolate to his spaghetti Bolognese too, I'm scared about doing that, it would like chocolate Bolognese if I did it, he likes to make it look rich that's why, so yes, my dad experiments but I don't.
I would have to say that Canada definitely produces the best wrestlers; I don't know why. I think Canada is a big wrestling country, and there are a lot of guys who are interested in wrestling in Canada.
I don't like my wrestling or entertainment in general to be too clean or predictable for me as a fan. When I say clean, I'm not talking about dirty jokes, middle fingers and stuff like that. I'm actually not even a big fan of that. A lot of people talk about the attitude era being so great but a lot of it was terrible crap, sex jokes and over-the-top terrible bad comedy. It was Jerry Springer-like. They made a joke about a woman's breasts. Hilarious, but where's the wrestling? I look back on a lot of stuff now, and I'm like where's the wrestling? It's just a lot of crappy jokes.
My father is a cultural anthropologist and my mother ran an outpatient clinic and treated a lot of people who had been institutionalised. I was very fascinated with behaviour and criminology and why people do things that don't make any sense. I would probe my mother: "Why? Why would somebody do this?" And look for some causality between someone's mental state and their behaviour. I think it had a lot of influence on me.
Oh God. valentine's Day tomorrow. Why? Why? Why is (the) entire world geared to make people not involved in romance feel stupid when everyone knows romance does not work anyway. Look at (the) royal family. Look at Mum and Dad.
We came to a great country like Canada that took us in, which is amazing looking back at it. At that time, I didn't know if I wanted to play soccer or not. I didn't know what I was supposed to do with my life, but once I came to Canada and started watching it on TV, my dad and brother played and watching them play, I wanted to do that too.
I think the Republican Party has indicated to everyone who wants to look at us that, you know, we're in the mainstream. We understand a lot of the concerns people have.
Jokes are a lot about meaning. I think if we understand what jokes mean and why they work, we'd understand everything else. Genuinely I do.
Usually the beginning of a story that people hear a lot. For example, "My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut" or "My dad keeps losing his car keys." And then I just think of different ways the story could end. "My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend." Then I try it out on stage. I don't do a lot of re-writing. My jokes either work or they don't. The trick is just to write a ton of jokes.
Chinese President Xi Jinping says that if Canada wants free access to Chinese markets, Trudeau should first ram a pipeline to the B.C. coast on China's behalf.
I know what it's like to look in the mirror and absolutely hate what's looking back at you, and to pick up a fashion magazine and think, why can't I look like that?
I don't want you to look at my skin and think "white" or look at my heritage and think "Mexican." I want you to look at me and see me as a human being, and hopefully, we can get past all of this other stuff. It's asking a lot, of course, but there's only one way you fight extremists on both sides, whether it be racist or not, and that's by looking past me, getting bigger than that, letting them not affect you, drawing from it and sticking together with the like-minded people you have around you.
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