A Quote by Michael R. Burch

Donald Trump really is a fan of the Bible, except that it's far too long for him to read. So he just released a new, improved version, the Gospel According to Trump. It reads: "I, Donald Trump, am God. Praise, worship, and adore Me as I do Myself. Then all shall be Great, as I am Great. The End."
Back when Donald Trump was just starting in the primaries, and I was asked, 'What do you think of Trump?' I would say, 'Donald Trump is a great example of someone in our country being able to truly do anything. You can dream, you can do it. And that's a great example of that. But when the primaries are over, Donald Trump will be gone.'
Whatever happened to Trump Airlines? How about Trump University? And then there's Trump Magazine and Trump Vodka and Trump Steaks, and Trump Mortgage? A business genius he [Donald Trump] is not.
Donald Trump has no design to transform America. Donald Trump doesn't think America is second-rate. Donald Trump doesn't think America's guilty. Donald Trump doesn't think America owes people things. Donald Trump doesn't think that the borders are to be wide open so that anybody who wants here can come here because we've screwed them at some time in the past.
There's a guy on YouTube ... who just re-voices Donald Trump. He does a thing called Sassy Trump which is just to take Donald Trump's words and revoice them. Doesn't change them ...and strangely enough it just makes you listen to what Trump is saying. I think the biggest answer to comedy against Trump is Trump's own words.
For anyone who doesn't believe that Donald Trump is the best candidate to go head to head with Hillary Clinton in November, and that's about 70 percent of Republicans nationwide who don't think Donald Trump is the right guy, our [President's] campaign is the only campaign that has beaten Donald Trump and that can beat Donald Trump.
Thanks to NBC News and thanks to the NBC primetime TV network, Donald Trump has been in living rooms for 11 years being who he is. The Donald Trump running for president is not an unknown quantity. The Donald Trump running for president is the Donald Trump everybody's gotten to know, and quite a lot of people watch those Donald Trump TV shows, The Apprentice and whatever else on there.
Donald Trump is a racist. Donald Trump in fact is making fascist appeals. That's why many self-respecting Republicans are not supporting Donald Trump for president.
People hear from Donald Trump that he's such an extraordinary success. They didn't know about Trump airlines and Trump mortgages and Trump vitamin network and Trump steaks and Trump Taj Mahal. They didn't realize a lot of small people have been crushed by Donald Trump's rise to become a very wealthy man, successful financially, but this is a guy who has not been a uniform success.
I find Donald Trump to be incredibly gracious, energetic, I mean the greatest compliment you can get from Donald Trump is not hey, that's brilliant or that was really smart or great job. It's you're really high energy.
Uzo Aduba over at 'Godspell' is doing an even more entertaining Donald Trump than Donald Trump's Donald Trump.
Donald Trump defies gravity. And so I guess he has to be Donald Trump. It's gotten him so far.
The [Hillary] Clinton campaign posted a pretty clever online quiz that makes a similar point with the Republican presidential field. Who said it? Donald Trump or not Donald Trump? For example, quote, "I mean you can prove you are a Christian. You can`t prove it, then you err on the side of caution." That was not Donald Trump. It was this guy, who strongly denounced Trump`s proposed Muslim ban but supports a religious test for refugees.
I mean, I got reelected in 2016. Donald Trump took Montana by 20 points. I won by four. Twenty-five to 30% of my voters voted for Donald Trump. And that's not, for me, changing who I am.
I kept hoping that Donald Trump, once he won the primary, would change. I hoped that we would see a new Donald Trump, one who put forth thoughtful policy positions, stopped denigrating people, and had a more positive vision for America. Regrettably, I have concluded that there is not going to be a new Donald Trump, that he's incapable of saying he's sorry, of changing, of learning, of growing.
Who the heck is Donald Trump to fire me? I regret I didn't tell Donald Trump, 'You need to fire your barber. I'm sorry. I ain't feeling you, man. You're fired! I fire you, Donald Trump.'
I thought, 'How cool would it be to paint Donald Trump in Donald Trump's house with Donald Trump there.'
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