A Quote by Michelle Kwan
I always thought after 2002 that I'd hang up my skates and turn professional and just go on tour and do shows. But I don't know when it is enough. I mean, I still enjoy it. I'm the luckiest girl alive that I get to perform in front of thousands of people, do what I love doing.
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I enjoy it and just smile through it. There are days where you're just pulling your hair out, but, at the end of the day, we are the luckiest people alive, doing what we do and loving our job as much as we do. Things don't get that much better.
You get nit-picked in the media. Stats are always up saying he doesn't drive it straight enough or hit enough greens or whatever it is. Then you have to perform, because if you don't perform, then you're off the Tour.
When I was doing drugs and alcohol, I thought I'll have a drink and a line of this and I'll smoke this. I didn't go, 'Then I'm going to go out and get drunk, come back strangle my wife and wake up in jail on charges of attempted murder,' but that's what happened. I'm not telling people what to do. If they can enjoy doing it and they get on with it and they can handle it fine, but don't involve me. I'm lucky to be alive; you're playing with Russian roulette.
Maybe I didn't get new skates, but I got used skates. I made it to the national championships in used skates that were custom-made for another girl. I still have those skates. Underneath the arch, there was a name crossed out and my dad had 'Michelle Kwan' written in. Granted, they were a little big, but it worked.
You know I still get nervous speaking in front of people. Speaking reminds me of pitching in that way. No matter how much you prepare, there is always that anxiety to perform. Those butterflies. You learn to embrace that stress. Eventually you realize that stress is what pushes you to perform at your peak.... But man the roller coaster! I told myself that after my career was over I would live my life quietly, out of the public eye, with no chance of embarrassing myself in front of large groups of people. Yet...here I am!
When you go and you tour Europe, or you go and you tour Egypt, or you go and you tour Iraq, or you go and you tour Afghanistan, or India, or whatever. Governments get to a point where they're illegitimate because people just give up on them as far as being leaders who have their country's interests at heart.
I enjoy the process of assessing, analyzing it and even as a professional I still think it's very wise to allow the fan in you to continue to remain alive. The professional always has to come first, but the fan in you allows you to relate to what people are watching.
When people get cancer now, the first thing you do is you go to some doctors to get some advice, figure out what to do. People live a long long life after a cancer diagnosis. Not that it's not scary. The people I know have done so many stupid things. And they're still alive. Just being alive at this point is kind of icing on the cake.
A few years ago I had a weird relationship with performing live. I didn't enjoy it as much because the nerves took over. My first ever gig was with Disclosure at Bestival. There were so many people, thousands and thousands of people. It's been an amazing start to my live shows, to experience that type. My only aim when I perform with those guys is to make sure the crowd has the best time. You hype them up. The energy is crazy. It's completely different, but I need both of them because I love dance music, but I also love soul music and slower, acoustic stuff.
I enjoy it all: performIng, doing TV, movies, comedy, drama, stand-up, animation voicework, singing, but you get that instant gratification from stand-up because it's your own commentary and you get to see the reaction from the audience that's right there in front of you. I also love coming up with characters and watching people embrace them and enjoy them.
People have always thought I was "on" something. After a while I began to think they knew something I didn't know! But I don't know, I just love living. And I love doing what I do.
I think after coming off of 'American Idol'... people kind of expect you to just be awesome all the time, and we're still learning. I had a lot of stage experience, but it was in a 200-seat theater, you know - it wasn't thousands of people in front of me.
If people just want to be famous, that's just not enough to get you up at 4 in the morning to go to work. You have to love what you're doing.
I'd say it's harder to play with an acoustic guitar strapped over your shoulder for a few hundred people than it is to play in front of thousands with an entire bombastic band behind you. After all these years, I still get nervous in front of people. I can't help it.
I had started acting when I was 7, and I was always wrong. I would always get to the very end [of the audition], but I wasn't a perfect package of one thing. I wasn't a cliche, and it always worked against me. I wasn't pretty enough to play the popular girl, I wasn't mousy enough to be the mousy girl. Then there was a TV show that Toni Collette was starring in. And when a role to play a girl who was struggling with identity came, I thought: "Oh, this is what I was supposed to do. Everything's leading up to this moment." I was 18. I was like, "This is it." I didn't get it. And I was devastated.
I still perform live primarily. I just keep traveling and doing live shows. The main difference in film, you know in your mind that you are doing it for posterity, you are doing for the eventual audience and it will be around forever.
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