A Quote by Michelle Wolf

There is only so many times you can say, 'Trump tweeted something that was bad.' That is not a joke to me. — © Michelle Wolf
There is only so many times you can say, 'Trump tweeted something that was bad.' That is not a joke to me.
As a businessman, I learned something that Donald Trump never figured out: It isn't about how many times you yell, 'You're fired,' but instead, how many times you say, 'You're hired.'
When I was governor, if I told a joke in front of the press - I learned. I would go, "That was a joke, joke, joke," and I'd say it three times.
I want to say that even - and Bernie said this many, many times - in several of the actual public debates, she said on her worst day, Hillary Clinton's a thousand times better than Donald Trump. And Donald Trump, in my view, is a threat to the nation.
I keep on repeating something told to me by an American psychologist: "When you are making a joke about someone and you are the only one to laugh, it is not a joke. It is a joke only for yourself." If people are making a joke they have the right to laugh at me but I will ignore them. Ignoring doesn't mean that you don't understand. You understand it so much that you don't want to react.
For me what photographers say about their photos doesn’t have any importance. For me it is just enough to look at the pictures. Many times - for the boring pictures - people have to say so many things about them to show you there is something to them when many times there is nothing.
I think Trump is terrible for comedy. A lot of people say he is great. He's not. You can't joke a joke.
I recognize that folks in the press love to see Republican-on-Republican violence, and so you want me to say something bad about Donald Trump, or bad about John McCain or bad about anyone else, i'm not going to do it.
Few years ago [Donald] Trump was being roasted by Comedy Central. They always have rules about things that you can't joke about. Donald Trump's rule at that time, the only thing that you couldn't joke about was a suggestion that he has less money that he claimed to.
A lot of times people come up to me saying 'oh my god you can see,' and they think they're the first person to think of that joke, but they're probably the 10,000th one to say that joke.
We don't know for a fact that Donald Trump did. We only think we know because it's been reported by how many unconfirmed, anonymous sources? Two scoops of ice cream, Trump's so selfish, guests only get one. The contrast is stark. Trump on this trip and the Trump in Washington. My contention is that Trump is Trump. What's different is the reporting.
I was not the only journalist to whom Trump offered gifts clearly meant to shape coverage. Many reporters have told me that Trump worked hard to offer them something fabulous - from hotel rooms to rides on his 757.
Don't think because I'm a positive dude, I'm going to always say something nice. If you come at me crooked, one too many times or if too many people came at me crooked too many times in a row, then they're going to get it. I don't always exercise that self control and I don't regret it either.
Let me say this. [Donald] Trump is the only person that has control over what Trump does. Maybe his supporters support him but they don't support every single thing about him. Maybe they are misguided about what it means to be friends with Russia. Maybe they come to my show and they never thought about sexism in the way that I talk about it in a joke.
After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times and then one night it’ll flop. And that’s when I really take a hard look at myself and say: "Well, that crowd is obviously wrong. That crowd has absolutely no idea what it’s talking about."
After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times and then one night it'll flop. And that's when I really take a hard look at myself and say: 'Well, that crowd is obviously wrong. That crowd has absolutely no idea what it's talking about.'
I always enjoy conversation more if there is some substance to it - which is a just incredibly hilarious thing for me to say because for many, many years I was the guy whose only contribution to any conversation was, 'There was a funny 'Simpson's' joke about that.'
This site uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience. More info...
Got it!