A Quote by Michelle Wolf
I'm very quiet off stage. I think I'm a pretty boring person. I'm not super talkative; I spend a lot of my time running and zoning out. I spend so much time trying to write jokes and 'be on,' so when I'm finally off stage, I just want to sit.
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When we go out to train, we work hard, but when we're back in the hotel, you want to chill out. People want to switch off from football because you spend so much time doing it. For me, switching off means playing jokes.
I just feel like why spend all my time doing something that makes me unhappy just to spend my time off thinking about how I have to go back to a job. It's such a vicious cycle that people get stuck in. But I'm also very lucky. I can't sit here too eagerly and say all that.
I'm a pretty boring person. I have a dog that I love, and friends that I love, and a family that I love. I'm just trying to spend as much time with them as I can.
I think I've been incredibly raw my whole career. A lot of people spend a lot of time trying to look cool and spend time being guarded and putting up walls. I just never had the time. It seems more honest to say, 'Hey, this is who I am.'
I think my one of my strengths in standup is my ability to adlib. I do all my best writing on stage. I can sit down and write jokes, but I'd rather go on stage with a premise or an idea and let the jokes come that way. My creative juices are never flowing any better than when I'm onstage.
Now, I want to explain something to you guys. I don't have an ending joke, because I don't tell jokes. I tell real-life stories and make them funny. So, I'm not like the average comedian. They have an ending joke; they always holler Peace! I'm out of here, and walk off stage. So, basically, when I get through performing on stage, I just walk off.
I live on a boat two months out of the year, and if I did not have that then I don't know how I'd be able to handle all this.... I am a very intense person on stage. I have to remember why I am there, what I am doing. You can spend all day backstage preparing for the show and lose sight of why you are doing this. Off stage, I am a very simple kind of guy. I live my life in flip-flops.
I spend a lot of time on college campuses, a lot of time mentoring young women in all sectors of business, because I don't want them to spend as much time to get their voice as I did.
Well, just coming off the stage and there's like 180,000 people out there and your adrenaline is going so high, and you're doing so much and it's hard to just put your head on the pillow and sleep because it just goes on and on, even after you're off the stage.
Normally classical music is set up so you have professionals on a stage and a bunch of audience - it's us versus them. You spend your entire time as an audience member looking at the back of the conductor so you're already aware of a certain kind of hierarchy when you are there: there are people who can do it, who are on stage, and you aren't on stage so you can't do it. There's also a conductor who is telling the people who are onstage exactly what to do and when to do it and so you know that person is more important than the people on stage.
In general, I'm pretty shy and nervous about a lot of things. For me to get on stage for the first time took so many times at an open mic before I finally got on stage and did it.
Think of a fine painter attempting to capture an inner vision, beginning with one corner of the canvas, painting what she thinks should be there, not quite pulling it off, covering it over with white paint, and trying again, each time finding out what her painting isn't, until she finally finds out what it is. And when you finally do find out what one corner of your vision is; you're off and running.
With a new baby, you have a bad day now and again because you're particularly tired, but most of the time, you're fine. You spend a lot of your time trying to figure out how you can get more sleep, but really, you're better off just giving up and admitting that you're not going to, so forget about it.
I like to spend as much time on the stage as possible. I don't do a regular TV series because I don't want to be overexposed.
Away from football, it is just family. I try to spend time with my kids - I have to spend a lot of time away, so every time I am at home, I like to spend time with them.
If you just sit and spend time with yourself - you were born as you, just you, and that's how you're gonna die. Why do we spend the time in between trying to not be ourselves? That's what meditation is. You just sit with yourself. Through all of it. It's like John Patrick Shanley said: "Where the terror is, you must go." Where the terror is, is where you must go.
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