A Quote by Mickey Mantle
Billy (Martin) was a great one for jokes. He liked to play a joke more than anyone I ever knew.
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I don't think anyone ever liked to play more than I did.
Tweeting is a great way to practice writing jokes, but there is so much more to comedy writing than just jokes. Jokes are a necessity, but you also have to learn how to write characters, to break a story, to keep coherence between episodes. I've learned more by being a TV writer than I ever could've on my own.
When I'm writing columns, it's - all I'm thinking about is jokes, joke, joke, joke, setup, punch line, joke, joke, joke. And I really don't care where it goes.
People think I hate Billy Martin. I don't. I hate some of the things he did. And I will say I don't understand him. Billy Martin is not an intellectual, but there is a cunningness to him that is something to behold.
You know, Billy Corgan has a big vision. He has a great idea for what he wants to do and how he wants to distribute it and I have always liked Billy and Dave Lagana's platform as far as being more character-driven and just kind of let us do our own thing and let the talent be talented.
There's a manager (Billy Martin) I could play for.
Woody Allen - nobody has been a better joke teller than him - and even in his great films, it's always coming out of the character. If you don't have that, jokes are just empty and I think that people rely too much on jokes.
Twitter is just a great joke laboratory. You go in there and there are so many witty people that I know any joke I make is going to have a response with at least 10 great jokes coming back.
[Dean Martin] is an absolute, unqualified drunk. And if we ever develop an Olympic drinking team, he's gonna be the coach... Dean Martin has been stoned more often than the United States embassies.
The U.K. and Europe in general seem to be a lot more patient. The U.S. are expecting 'joke joke joke joke joke joke joke.' They don't actually sit and listen to you.
I'm not big on fat jokes. That's a little beneath me. I'm not a huge fan of making a joke completely at someone else's expense. Even though I think he does it better than anyone else, I don't love... Well, it's different with Sacha Baron Cohen, but that whole thing where you're "punking" people? I don't like that. I don't like doing it, and I don't particularly find it funny when the joke is on a person who doesn't know they're being set up.
I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.
'Superstar' Billy Graham was someone that my dad taught from A to Z, from tying up to submission wrestling. Billy was more of a showman than a wrestler. My dad used to love tying Billy in knots, and Iron Sheik would be watching.
I love you, Kaylee. More than I've ever loved anyone. More than I will ever love anyone. If I could freeze this moment in time and never have to let you go, I would do it without a second thought.
I don't think I've ever died on stage. I've had jokes that died on stage. I've told a joke and absolutely nothing. They didn't know it was the end of the joke.
The satisfaction comes because you work hard and it pays off. It is not as glamorous as I thought it would be, but, you know, I appreciate it more than I ever knew I would, and I love it more than I ever knew I would.
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