Interestingly, I matured as a musician and as an artist before I matured as a man. What I mean by that is, I was ready to be completely vulnerable and honest with myself and unapologetic when it comes to how I express myself in my medium. But I wasn't as secure in doing that when it came to just being myself.
It's possible that I've matured as a writer, and I hope I've matured emotionally, but I always find myself revisiting these adolescent scenes.
When I look at interviews from when I was that age, I come off different than how I am because I've matured - and I've matured, become a man in front of the public eye.
To be honest, I don't see myself acting forever. I just can't imagine myself being a 70-year-old man fighting for roles. I would love to do small parts in my friends' movies or things that I'm directing myself. I do envision myself behind the camera as I get a little bit older.
It's how I express myself - through storytelling and characters. They often reveal very intimate, vulnerable sides of myself.
I train with young guys in the offseason just to be honest and keep myself sure, to let myself know if I'm ready or will I be ready.
I think we both matured together in this sport, so I think fight between Michael Bisping and myself would mean a lot.
I've had to push myself and I've really matured.
One thing I can say is that as I've gotten older, I've gotten younger. I've grown up but I've kind of immatured (but matured!) but I've allowed myself to be a kid. When I was a kid, I was so much of a professional and carried myself that way. It was crazy.
I was being very bad because I didn't know how to express myself. Music gave me an outlet to express myself and channel that anger.
My finding of myself as an artist, which I think in itself helped me to find just who I am and how I want to express myself, is entirely - in conjunction, of course, with my family, particularly my mom - founded on teachers.
I don't view myself as a musician anymore - I view myself as a human being that functions as a musician when I'm functioning as a musician, but that's not 24 hours a day. That's really opened me up to even more perspectives because now I look at music, not from the standpoint of being a musician, but from the standpoint of being a human being.
I feel like, in the Czars, for example, I was afraid. I couldn't express myself. I didn't have a connection to myself. That's one of the huge reasons why it was such a difficult existence. I put a lot of that on myself. I couldn't access myself. I couldn't look at myself, because I was too ashamed.
A huge part of my career and how I want to participate in the world is being unapologetically myself and being honest and vulnerable.
Acting is just another way to express myself as an artist. I realized if you're an artist, you're an artist and you can express that through music, through painting, through photography, through acting - this is just another way for me to express myself.
Here I am as a human being...how can I express myself, totally and completely?
As a musician myself, I wouldn't be confident if I received some other composers' song, because I choose to express myself through the music that I make.