A Quote by Mike Birbiglia
I don't smoke a lot of pot anymore. No one wants to hang around a guy who ends every sentence with, "Do you guys hate me?"
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Some guys smoke. Some guys drink. Some guys chase women. I'm a big barbecue-sauce guy. ... I'm like that guy on the Odd Couple, and it's not the neat guy. I go into my room and find pieces of pizza under the laundry.
I also smoke a lot of pot, occasionally, every day.
I don't smoke much pot anymore.
In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence.
The problem is Silicon Valley, which is an amazing ecosystem, also ends up being an amazing bubble, with white guys talking to white guys about white-guy problems. So it's great, but you kind of miss a lot of things around you.
Since my act is a goofy reflection of what's going on in my life, I started doing pot jokes, and I noticed that audiences invariably love pot jokes. Even people who don't smoke pot think it's a funny subject. So when I started getting laughs, I started doing more material about it. When people come to see my shows, there are a lot of stoners in the audience, but there are also a lot of people who just like me. So I try to give a healthy mix, where people aren't going "There are too many jokes about pot!" or "There's not enough jokes about pot!"
I do have a plan for the country [the USA]. It needs education. And there should be drug education - only people should be taught how to smoke pot, because even potheads don't know how to smoke pot. I've evolved into not only an activist, but an educator. I want to show people how, when, and why they should smoke pot.
I used to drink beer and smoke pot before I played. Now I drink tequila and smoke pot. So it's a little different
I drink a few beers, and I've smoked a little pot. But I'm too health conscious to do it regularly. I run a lot. I don't smoke cigarettes. Pot is the hardest thing I've tried, really.
Everybody wants me to be the (guy) who's (sleeping with) every celebrity woman in the industry. Everybody wants me to be this (guy) in the club, popping 17 bottles just because. Everybody wants me to be Diddy, and that's not me.
And I don't really drink alot of booze, alcohol will kill ya... but I smoke all the pot I can find, I don't smoke it all at once, I just do a little bit at a time, and I uh, I used to take acid but I quit around 1971.
I'm pretty sure that every player who's ever played for me doesn't hate me. Now, we'd have to do a survey, but I've coached a lot of guys, and I'm pretty sure there's one or two that don't hate me. I don't know that any liked me. But I'm pretty sure there's one or two who don't hate me.
People who know me, the guys who have been around me every day, this is the way I've been... I've never been a guy who just needed a lot of attention. Some people do.
I started doing pot jokes, and I noticed that audiences invariably love pot jokes. Even people who don't smoke pot think it's a funny subject.
I hate polite conversation. I hate it when people stand around and go, "Hi, how are you?" I hate words that don't have any reason or meaning. Also I hate it when people smoke in elevators and closed in places. It's just so rude.
People think the film industry is going to corrupt me, but I feel like it's kept me more innocent, in a way. I wasn't really home when my friends were trying pot for the first time. I was always around adults who wouldn't smoke or curse or do anything like that around me. I don't do things that are dangerous to myself. I don't want to hurt myself
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