A Quote by Milton Berle

I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size. — © Milton Berle
I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
Gave a girl herpes in exchange for syphilis, put my LP on your Christmas gift list.
We always do a white elephant gift exchange on Christmas Eve, but my mom always gets really nice gifts for it. And we hang out in our PJs on Christmas Day.
The joy of Christmas causes hundreds of radio stations around the country to play Christmas music all day, and people will exchange millions of gifts to remember the first gift of Christmas, the infant Jesus.
Every morning I wake up and see my beautiful wife is like a gift. She gave me the gift of love and gorgeous wonderful babies.
Christmas is based on an exchange of gifts, the gift of God to man - His unspeakable gift of His Son, and the gift of man to God - when we present our bodies a living sacrifice.
Last Christmas, I got the worst gift a guy ever gave me. He gave me a lottery ticket... what's the guy even thinking there. Here you go... nothing! Merry Christmas! It's nothing!
I do love Christmas, although my wife puts me to shame. She is a huge Christmas fan, so we do love us some Christmas in our house.
In your hurry to keep Christmas, you have forgotten Christmas. The truest gift of Christmas is the gift of self.
With any body shape it's important to buy the right size and not be dictated to by size you think you are. Try on a bigger and a smaller size in the shop and see what fits visually. If you do have to go up a size, cut the label out, it's just a number!
Giving in to a shrill instinct, she ran around the side of the building. Butch was marching toward his car as if he were carrying an unstable load, and she rushed to catch up with them. “Wait. I need to ask him a question.” “You want to know his shoe size or something?” Butch snapped. “Fourteen,” Wrath drawled. “I’ll remember that at Christmas, asshole.
This man's wife told him, "For Christmas, surprise me." On Christmas Eve he leaned over where she was sleeping and said, "Boo!"
There's a lot of movies that aren't all about Christmas, or where Christmas isn't the focus, but have that spirit of Christmas in them. I love that sequence in 'Auntie Mame,' where she's in the department store, sewing at Macy's, and she doesn't know how to do anything but fill out a form as 'cash on delivery!'
I think the one thing that I've experienced with American films is just that the size tends to be so much bigger, the budgets have been bigger, the size of the sets have been bigger, the number of people working on them is bigger, but that's not to say that I haven't been able to get close to people or develop good relationships.
That's another pompous expression that is out of fashion, to say that poetry is a gift. It sounds pompous because you say, 'Who gave you the gift, and what is this gift?' And the gift is where I am; the gift is what I have come out of, the people around me who, I think, are beautiful people.
Christmas is the time for celebration, so I'm not against decorating, putting on lights, buying gifts. In fact, the whole reason we give gifts is the wise men gave gifts to Jesus at the first Christmas, and that started the gift-giving process.
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