A Quote by Mitch Hedberg

I went to the airport, I put my bag in the x-ray machine, I found out my bag has cancer. It only has six more months to hold stuff.

Mitch Hedberg

Quote Topics

Airport Bag Cancer Found Hold Machine Months More Old Stuff Only Out Put Ray Six Stuff

Quote Author

Mitch Hedberg
American - Comedian
February 24, 1968 - March 30, 2005

Think about what happens on Earth when you throw up. You throw up and you have a bag of something horrible and then you throw it away, but if I have this bag, what am I going to do with it? This bag is going to stay with me in space for months, so we want a really good barf bag.

Chris Hadfield

In most instances, at all costs, do NOT check a bag. Especially during the holiday season. You have more flexibility to switch flights, switch airlines or even leave the airport and get a rental car to drive to your next destination. If the airline has your bag, they also have you.

Beth Mowins

I need to be able to be at a gig and just put my bag on the floor and not worry about it being stood on or getting ruined. You want a bag that can go through anything. And a little bit of softness is always lovely. If I don't have a dog, I can just pet my bag!

Cara Delevingne

I woke up, a bag of bones. Literally. They had gathered up my bones and put them in a bag and thrown the bag into a river.

Derek Landy

I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.

Joan Rivers

In the sports hostel, I would not eat the boiled egg and would store it away in my bag. But eventually, Nambiar sir found out and gave me a yelling. There were so many eggs in my bag and they started smelling.

P. T. Usha

We are past the stage in our relations that you come to Washington with an empty goody bag and then you go back with a bag filled with stuff.

Kersti Kaljulaid

God is not a vending machine where if you put in enough prayer quarters we get a Reese's Pieces bag that pops out.

Joel C. Rosenberg

I would run into the corner store, the bodega, and just grab a paper bag or buy juice - anything just to get a paper bag. And I'd write the words on the paper bag and stuff these ideas in my pocket until I got back. Then I would transfer them into the notebook.

Jay-Z

A Birkin bag is a very good rain hat; just put everything else in a plastic bag.

Jane Birkin

She had six months at most left to live. She had cancer, she hissed. A filthy growth eating her insides away. There was an operation, she'd been told. They took half your stomach out and fitted you up with a plastic bag. Better a semicolon than a full stop, some might say.

Helen Hodgman

It doesn't matter if I'm only to be gone four days, as in this case; I take six months' supply of reading material everywhere. Anyone who needs further explication of this eccentricity can find it usefully set out in the first pages of W. Somerset Maugham's story "The Book-Bag.

Robin McKinley

Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: "Have a drink on me." The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.

Frank Carson

I think that the lack of intuition in fashion today is one of the most dangerous things. My fear is that our business is turning into a bag business, and it's all about the bag. But it's not only about the bag. It's about the women. And it's not about a bag or a shoe or the jewelry. It's only about women. . . . Being almost politically correct and doing only what you expect without the ability to make mistakes is very dangerous to fashion. We have to go with our heart. We have to go with our intuition.