A Quote by Mitch Hedberg

Pepperidge Farm bread. That's fancy bread. You can tell it's fancy because it's wrapped twice. You open it, and it still isn't open. That's why I don't buy it. I don't need another step between me and toast.

Mitch Hedberg

Quote Topics

Another Because Between Bread Buy Fancy Farm Me Need Open Step Still Tell Toast Twice Why Wrapped

Quote Author

Mitch Hedberg
American - Comedian
February 24, 1968 - March 30, 2005

Toast is bread made delicious and useful. Un-toasted bread is okay for children's sandwiches and sopping up barbecue sauce, but for pretty much all other uses, toast is better than bread. An exception is when the bread is fresh from the oven, piping hot, with butter melting all over it. Then it's fantastic, but I would argue that bread fresh out of the oven is a kind of toast. Because I'm an asshole and I refuse to be wrong about something.

Steve Albini

There is a seeded bread that I bring from South Africa. I bring home 10, 20 loaves. I am so bad with this bread. I've literally been in hotels and brought my own: "Please, can you toast this? I have my own bread." They're like, "You have your own bread?" And I'll pull it out!

Oprah Winfrey

The fact that in America bread lasts so long. You buy bread, and then it's bread forever - it's Forever Bread!

Paul Bettany

So here are some foolproof recipes for those of you who understand the true function of food. Bean Treat: Gingerly pour four fluid oz of beans or something into a jug. Cry. Eat the beans from the jug and pour the rest from the can down your throat. N.B. These taste better if they belong to somebody else in your house. Pain au Dunk: Fists of bread, rent from the loaf and dunked into anything runnier than bread. Should eat at least six of these because…you should. Don’t toast the bread. Toast is cookery.

Dylan Moran

All families had their special Christmas food. Ours was called Dutch Bread, made from a dough halfway between bread and cake, stuffed with citron and every sort of nut from the farm - hazel, black walnut, hickory, butternut.

Paul Engle

Rulers like Egypt's Gamal Abdel Nasser started subsidizing bread as a way to buy loyalty, or at least obedience, and this system became so pervasive that the Tunisian scholar Larbi Sadiki described countries who used it as dimuqratiyyat al-khubz - "democracies of bread." But the problem with this system of offering bread in exchange for genuine democracy is that it can never last - sooner or later, the bread will run out, and people will start demanding bread and roses too.

Annia Ciezadlo

The first sign that I'd been unknowingly affected by cooking shows occurred on a Sunday morning when I realized I was talking to myself. I'd been making toast. 'First, we cut our bread,' I whispered. 'Do you know why?' I stopped what I was doing and looked up. 'Let me tell you why.'

Bill Buford

Don't be overwhelmed by a man's fancy car, fancy house or fancy clothes. It's really the person inside the care, house and clothes that matters. By the same token, don't be underwhelmed by a less-than-fancy car, house or clohtes. Women can earn the car and house themselves, and you can always buy your man nice clothes, too.

Sumiko Tan

The automatic bread maker is not as good as breads made by hand, but waking up to the smell of fresh bread is worth the price of admission. We use it for fresh cinnamon raisin toast - mmmmmmm!

Irma S. Rombauer

A luxury meal was prairie sandwiches - two slices of bread with wide-open spaces between them.

Chic Murray

Material civilization, nay, even luxury, is necessary to create work for the poor. Bread! Bread! I do not believe in a God who cannot give me bread here, giving me eternal bliss in heaven!

Bill Vaughan

Dip a slice of bread in batter. That's September: yellow, gold, soft and sticky. Fry the bread. Now you have October: chewier, drier, streaked with browns. The day in question fell somewhere in the middle of the french toast process.

Tom Robbins

My cheat days are bread, bread, bread, and cookies. I love bread!

Jessie James Decker

I quite fancy having a hover car, but I don't fancy everyone having one. Because I feel like I spend quite a lot of time stuck in traffic on the 405 but if everybody had one then they'd be scared and we'd crash, but if it was just me, then I think I would zoom home quite fast. I also quite fancy a phone attached to my hand but then I don't know if I fancy it being stuck to my body.

Kate Beckinsale

AI works really well when you couple AI in a raisin bread model. AI is the raisins, but you wrap it in a good user interface and product design, and that's the bread. If you think about raisin bread, it's not raisin bread without the raisins. Right? Then it's just bread, but it's also not raisin bread without the bread. Then it's just raisins.