A Quote by Mitch Hedberg
I was going to get my teeth whitened, but I said, "I'll just get a tan instead."
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I've never had white teeth. To be honest, I've never been told to do any of those horrible things - get your teeth whitened or your nose straightened.
I'm a comedian. I can't get a spray tan. I can't get a weave. I can't get my teeth done. Can you imagine if I came out on stage looking really hunky? Comedy doesn't work like that.
In Europe, you can sit out and sit in the sun, and you get a very golden tan. The tan you get in Las Vegas is a darker tan, and it's not the same.
When you're younger, you don't believe in it, but it's really so important to stay out the of sun as much as you can. Like if you wanna get tan, you can get a spray tan and not get skin cancer.
Fake tan is really difficult to get right. When I was younger, I'd always do it wrong. I'd leave it on and forget to wash it off. So I embrace being pale. I like getting a tan, but I also think that if you're going to do it, it has to be gradual. I just work the pale thing now.
Everybody thinks I wear fake tan but I hate fake tan! Never been able to get on with it. I'm always linked to different fake tan brands and it's nonsense because I've probably had three fake tans in my life.
Everyone always asks me how to get the most mileage out of a spray tan. I'm spoiled and I get a fresh one every week; but my best advice for the rest of the girls out there is to wax a day in advance of your spray tan.
I woke up one day and wanted to change my look. And I was like, 'Okay, what are you going to do about it?' I said, 'I'm going lose 30 pounds, I'm going to get a little lipo, and I'm going to get a Monroe piercing, and I'm going to cut my hair. I'm going to get totally wild.'
Maybe one day there will be a snooker pin-up calendar if we all get in shape. I would be up for that, get some spray tan going.
Even in the minor leagues, I just said I'll get my little bit of time in here and then get out of here. I was going to try, though. I wasn't going to just give up. I was always going to try. I'm here. I figured I might as well try.
In California virtually everyone has had their teeth whitened. If they all smiled at once, they would give us a headache.
A lot of guys are missing teeth and don't get them fixed until they're done. I think that's pretty much the hockey trademark... guys figure, well, we're going to lose our teeth anyway, so we'll get them fixed when we're done.
Goal setting is fine if you want to be the warrior archetype. These people are setting goals constantly and trying to get someplace else. They say, "If you don't know where you are going, then you won't know when you get there." When you get to a higher level of consciousness, though, when you get into a spiritual approach to life, you are not trying to get someplace else, because you never can get it done. You never are going to get there. Instead, what you want to do is get to a place where you are at peace. You are connected to God.
Let me just suggest to everybody, and I hear - last February [2015], I said we needed to have people on the ground in a coalition with Europe and our allies. This is not going to get done just by working with the Sunnis. And it is not going to get done if we just embed a few people.
I don't mind being pale. In high school, it seemed like everybody cared about being tan all year round, but I haven't really thought about it since then. I don't go to a tanning bed, and I get bored when I lay out. I put sunscreen on when I'm in the sun, and sometimes I get tan, but I don't really think about it very much.
Get the hell off the Beach in Asbury Park and get out. You're done. It's 4:30 PM. You've maximized your tan. Get off the beach. Get in you cars and get out of those areas.
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