A Quote by Mitch Hedberg

I make myself a bowl of instant oatmeal, and then I don't do anything for an hour. Why do I need the instant oatmeal? I could get the regular oatmeal and feel productive.

Mitch Hedberg

Quote Topics

Anything Bowl Could Feel Get Hour Instant Make Myself Need Oatmeal Productive Regular Then Why

Quote Author

Mitch Hedberg
American - Comedian
February 24, 1968 - March 30, 2005

Battles that involve oatmeal are just never going to end up being historic, you know?" Jake went on. "Gettysburg? No major oatmeal involvement. The Battle of Midway? Neither side used oatmeal. Desert Storm? No oatmeal.

Katherine Applegate

Dear Complete and Utter Stranger, The first thing that I have to say is that I hate oatmeal. I really hate it. And you know what? If you like oatmeal at all? I mean even the tiniest bit? I mean, say you were lost in the Himalayas, right, and you hadn't eaten anything except a Mars Bar for about seven years, right, and you're really cold and your fingers are all dropping off, right, and you look behind this rock, and there's this bowl of oatmeal? Say you would even think about eating the oatmeal? Well, JUST DON'T BOTHER WRITING TO ME, OKAY?

Jaclyn Moriarty

There's an oatmeal cookie in there. I see no reason for the existence of oatmeal, particularly in cookies.

Nora Roberts

I'm a big oatmeal fan. For my every-morning breakfast, I will do oatmeal with cinnamon, goat's milk or even butter, with apples and raisins, and then I'll maybe do some eggs, say two poached eggs with that.

Amy Purdy

I always have either nuts, Luna bars, or fruit in my bag. A pack of instant oatmeal is also good to carry because it's a quick, nutritious meal you can make almost anywhere.

Nina Agdal

I enjoy a good meal as much as anyone, but I get so confused by nutritional, budgetary, ecological, ethical, aesthetic, and time-management concerns that I often subsist for weeks on instant oatmeal and multivitamins.

Elif Batuman

I love oatmeal. To me, it's not boring. I agree that ordinary oatmeal is very boring, but not the steel-cut Irish kind - the kind that pops in your mouth when you bite into it in little glorious bursts like a sort of gummy champagne.

Alan Alda

It wasn't an instant success. It wasn't like I got into Earth, Wind & Fire and we stopped eating oatmeal and McDonald's. But it was definitely a clear path on the right direction to be my own man.

Philip Bailey

Bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down... and won.

John Prine

[I had a]...Second bowl of oatmeal. It was a little bit gloppy.

Megan Whalen Turner

It's just the most amazing thing to love a dog, isn't it? It makes our relationships with people seem as boring as a bowl of oatmeal.

John Grogan

I do breakfast first, which is a small bowl of oatmeal and some sort of protein, like hard-boiled eggs. And then I work out - 40 minutes of cardio and maybe some strength training.

Jake Tapper

I do two cups of coffee with a little bit of raw sugar and soy creamer, and then I do a bowl of plain oatmeal with walnuts and blueberries. Now, if I could do what I really wanted to do with my life, every morning I would have a salami-and-cheese omelet with hash browns and a buttermilk biscuit - and pancakes. But my heart would explode.

Ike Barinholtz

What is an "instant" death anyway? How long is an instant? Is it one second? Ten? The pain of those seconds must have been awful as her heart burst and her lungs collapsed and there was no air and no blood to her brain and only raw panic. What the hell is instant? Nothing is instant. Instant rice takes five minutes, instant pudding an hour. I doubt that an instant of blinding pain feels particularly instantaneous.

John Green

There's no dishonor in being forced by a superior power into slavery, but it is an eternal disgrace to voluntarily surrender one's liberty for a filthy bowl of oatmeal and promise of security by liars.