A Quote by Mitch Hedberg
Last time I called shotgun we had rented a limo, so I messed up!
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The only time I had an ego is I when wanted to have a reverse Undertaker record at WrestleMania, and they messed it up!
If you don’t want your life to be 'messed up', don’t fool around with those who have messed up theirs.
It's okay to be messed up, because there are five other dudes who are just as messed up as you.
You know what I never get with the limo? The tinted windows. Is that so people don't see you? Yeah, what a better way not to have people notice you than taking a thirty foot Cadillac with a TV antenna and a uniformed driver. How discreet. Nobody cares who's in the limo. You see a limo go by, you know it's either some rich jerk or fifty prom kids with $1.75 each.
I rented a place that I could have dogs - not in my house. I rented a big place. And I was able to have the SPCA every end of the week bring many, many dogs to me. They all were in nice places, clean, everything was fine. I took good care of them. And so many people called.
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
In 1965, I was 11 and in my last year at Junior school. I was living with my mum and older sister in a rented flat in south London - my parents had separated when I was five and got divorced a couple of years later, which was unusual at the time. My dad was working abroad, and I hadn't seen him for several years.
Tanith frowned. Did people still go on DATES any more? She was sure they did. They probably called it something different though. She tried to think of the last date she'd been on. The last PROPER date. Did fighting side by side with Saracen Rue count as a date? They ended up snuggling under the moonlight, drenched in gore and pieces of brain - so it had PROBABLY been a date. If it wasn't, it was certainly a fun time had by all. Well, not ALL. But she and Saracen had sure had a blast.
Man, me and Biggie were the biggest artists in New York. When he passed, I was so messed up. My attitude was messed up about him dying. There was an East-West thing back then, and I was in war mode.
A lot of the messed-up stuff that men inflict on women is kind of a symptom of the messed-up stuff that they should be dealing with themselves.
My brother one time after a little league basketball game, I think he messed up or something had happened in the game, ends up getting in an argument with my dad. Ultimately he gets pushed down and he ends up cutting the back of his head. He had six or seven stitches over a 10-year-old basketball game. That was tough to watch.
What was most important to me at the Olympics was going out there and performing my best. When I messed up the first jump combination, which was my big move, it hit me that I messed up the program of my life.
Down to my last dime and coming apart at the seams. I'm messed up in Mexico, living on refried dreams.
When I was a kid, I wanted desperately to be a jazz musician. I would practice the trumpet for hours, but when I got braces, that messed up my ability to play, so all of a sudden I had all this free time.
I worked with Herb Ritts on the Marky Mark shoot, and then Steven Meisel, and then they'd start sending limos for me, and I was like, 'That is so embarrassing. I'm not getting in a stretch limo by myself to go to a shoot.' That whole New York thing of, 'You are fabulous! Turn up to a Meisel shoot in a limo and you're fabulous!'
I used to work at this store called Music Plus in San Clemente, California, when I was growing up, and then they became Blockbuster Music, and, like, you had to get a haircut to work there, and at the time I had some pretty long hair. So after that policy was imposed, I knew that was going to be my last summer working there.
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