A Quote by Mitch Hedberg

One time I was forced to go to the doctors because of a sports accident. Herpes. — © Mitch Hedberg
One time I was forced to go to the doctors because of a sports accident. Herpes.
I think I started to approach time in a different way after the accident. Before I was more willing to give my time to people and things that I wasn't as interested in because somehow I allowed myself to be brainwashed into being forced to work with other people or on other projects that I had no interest in. So simply, the accident gave me the opportunity to do what I really wanted to do.
Sunday-the doctor's paradise! Doctors at country clubs, doctors at the seaside, doctors with mistresses, doctors with wives, doctors in church, doctors in yachts, doctors everywhere resolutely being people, not doctors.
Whenever I’m about to have sex with a girl, I play it smart and just automatically assume she has herpes; because that way I don’t have to tell her about my herpes.
Like everyone on the set has to take [herpes medication] Valtrex. We hand it out like M&Ms. Hey kids, it's time for Valtrex!' It's like a herpes nest. They're all in there mixing it up.
It was no accident that I made 'Hoop Dreams' because it concerned a sport that I loved and hoped would be my dream, however far-fetched that turned out to be. Because of the success of that film, Hollywood pigeonholed me as a sports biopic guy, which led to 'Prefontaine' and two cable sports films.
What's the difference between herpes and love? Herpes is forever.
People think you go to doctors for their knowledge. You don't go to doctors for their knowledge. You go to doctors for their judgment, their instinct, what to do, how to make the right call.
I'm sure I've been in an accident because I'm wild and crazy and go too fast, but I don't remember having an accident.
Were I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be...herpes.
I'm riveted by extreme sports like big-wave surfing, 'megaramp' skateboarding and half-pipe snowboarding. I'm fascinated partly because the sports are so exhilaratingly acrobatic. But I'm also captivated by the fear that a terrible accident might happen at any moment. And accidents do happen.
I am concerned about the plight of the working poor... If doctors are not paid for seeing those patients, doctors will not go to rural Alabama because you can't expect a doctor to go to rural Alabama and lose money.
All painting is an accident. But it's also not an accident, because one must select what part of the accident one chooses to preserve.
I played no sports well. Because I was a boy in the United States Of America, I was forced into Little League and played horrible Little League baseball, and played football and basketball in school situations where I was forced to.
Don't sell yourself short because without that you can't go far in life because after sports the only thing you know is sports and you can't do anything else with that.
Although my doctors informed me that I suffered a cerebral concussion, as well as shock, I do not seek to escape responsibility for my actions by placing the blame either on the physical and emotional trauma brought on by the accident, or on anyone else. I regard as indefensible the fact that I did not report the accident to the police immediately.
I am riveted by extreme sports like big-wave surfing, 'megaramp' skateboarding and half pipe snowboarding. I am fascinated partly because the sports are so exhilaratingly acrobatic. But I am also captivated by the fear that a terrible accident might happen at any moment. And accidents do happen.
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