A Quote by Mitch Hedberg

Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience. — © Mitch Hedberg
Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs.
I always walk up the escalator on the Tube, and I live in a house with a lot of stairs, and that's good exercise, but you need more than that.
The problem with revenge is that it never evens the score. It ties both the injured and the injurer to an escalator of pain. Both are stuck on the escalator as long as parity is demanded, and the escalator never stops.
Walking is a great way to exercise, and we can find ways to take additional steps each day by parking a car farther away from a destination, climbing stairs instead of taking the elevator or escalator, and walking during occasional breaks from sitting at a desk.
I was at a restaurant in Glasgow, and I was walking down the stairs. A woman passed me and said, 'Oh my God, what are you doing here?' I didn't know who she was, and I was like, 'Sorry?' She goes, 'Oh no, sorry, I follow you on Twitter. I just didn't expect to see you here.'
When you buy a new pair of heels, walk up and down the stairs 10 times. Stairs are the most difficult thing, so if you can do stairs, then you can do everything else.
Sorry, I don't do castles. I hate those winding turret stairs.
Life for most of us is full of steep stairs to go up and later, shaky stairs to totter down; and very early in the history of stairs must have come the invention of bannisters.
You may be sorry that you spoke, sorry you stayed or went, sorry you won or lost, sorry so much was spent. But as you go through life, you'll find - you're never sorry you were kind.
Start climbing the stairs without thinking how steep are the stairs or how many stairs are there!
The voice is always in my head. In fact I aspire to be more like Mario. What could be better than rescuing and falling in love with a princess, right? Someone who faces every challenge in life with a cheerful Wahoo! In London a bike messenger stopped me and said ‘You’re the bloke who does Mario’ on an escalator. So naturally I go ‘Wahooooo’ all the way up the stairs.
[God] will not be used as a convenience. Men or nations who think they can revive the Faith in order to make a good society might just as well think they can use the stairs of heaven as a shortcut to the nearest chemist's shop.
Nowadays, we never allow ourselves the convenience of being temporarily unavailable, even to strangers. With telephone and beeper, people subject themselves to being instantly accessible to everyone at all times, and it is the person who refuses to be on call, rather than the importunate caller, who is considered rude.
Just let yourself be broken and humiliated. Just your whole life, keep telling people, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
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