A Quote by Mitch Hedberg

I heard a guy tell me he liked cherries. I waited to hear if he was going to say "tomatoes", then I realized he like cherries just. That joke is ridiculous.

Mitch Hedberg

Quote Topics

Cherries Going Guy Hear Heard I Realized Joke Just Like Liked Me Realized Ridiculous Say Tell Then Tomatoes Waited

Quote Author

Mitch Hedberg
American - Comedian
February 24, 1968 - March 30, 2005

The greedy one gathered all the cherries, while the simple one tasted all the cherries in one.

Mark Nepo

Disgraces are like cherries, one drawes another. [Disgraces are like cherries, one draws another.]

George Herbert

He shook his head. "The next time I hear a women going on about how neurotic men are, I'm going to remember this. You tell me you like my body, and what do I say? I say, thank you. Then I tell you I like yours and what do I hear? A long lists of grievances.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Some of us shorten our names or our noses or both... We Jews can be extremely neurotic and are inclined to become easily depressed. Most Jews seldom say, 'Have a nice day' or even have one. To be honest, I've never heard a Jew say that. We're just not that optimistic. Life is neither a bed of roses nor a bowl of cherries.

Gene Saks

When wine drinkers tell me they taste notes of cherries, tobacco and rose petals, usually all I can detect is a whole lot of jackass.

Joel Stein

Life is just a bowl of cherries, don't take it serious, its mysterious. Life is just a bowl of cherries, so live and laugh and laugh at love, love a laugh, laugh and love.

Bob Fosse

You can tell on-stage when a joke's starting to lose its pop. It doesn't mean people don't want to hear it anymore; it means I don't want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they've never heard.

Ron White

Eleanor,” he said, just because he liked saying it, “why do you like me?” “I don’t like you.” He waited. And waited… Then he started to laugh. “You’re kind of mean,” he said. “Don’t laugh. It just encourages me.

Rainbow Rowell

No guy in his right mind would ever choose me when there are people like Hana in the world: It would be like settling for a stale cookie when what you really want is a big bowl of ice cream, whipped cream and cherries and chocolate sprinkles included.

Lauren Oliver

For me, life is a bowl of cherries.

Sissy Spacek

I know that living with me was not a bowl of cherries.

Steve Jobs

Life is not all a bowl of cherries. There are days when you aren't going to feel up to par. And it's healthy to see it in yourself and to ask, 'Hey, what's going on?'

Phyllis Smith

You can't serve up hearts like cherries jubilee.

Leonard Bailey

Someone said to me at a party once, 'Oh, yeah, you're a comedian? Then how come you're not funny now?' And I just wanted to say, 'Well, I'm just going to take this conversation we're having and then repeat that to strangers, and then that's the joke. You're the joke later.'

Mike Birbiglia

Are people crazy? People waited all their lives. They waited to live, they waited to die. They waited in line to buy toilet paper. They waited in line for money. And if they didn't have any money they waited in longer lines. You waited to go to sleep and then you waited to awaken. You waited to get married and you waited to get divorced. You waited for it to rain, you waited for it to stop. You waited to eat and then you waited to eat again. You waited in a shrink's office with a bunch of psychos and you wondered if you were one.

Charles Bukowski

Out of all the ridiculous religion stories - which are greatly, wonderfully ridiculous - the silliest one I've ever heard is, 'Yeah, there's this big, giant universe, and it's expanding, and it's all going to collapse on itself, and we're all just here, just 'cuz. Just 'cuz.' That to me, is the most ridiculous explanation ever.

Trey Parker

A Quote by Mitch Hedberg

Quote Topics

Quote Author

Related Quotes

Related Authors