A Quote by Mitch Hedberg
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
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I’d like to see a forklift lift a crate of forks. It’d be so damn literal! You are using that machine to it’s exact purpose!
Driving a forklift is kind of like riding a bicycle. You've either got forklift skills or you don't, and I can remove somebody's molars with a forklift.
Whenever you find a preacher who takes the Bible allegorically and figuratively...that preacher is preaching an allegorical gospel which is no gospel. I thank God for a literal Christ, for a literal salvation. There is literal sorrow, literal death, literal Hell, and, thank God, there is a literal Heaven.
One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like an infantile retard.
For me, in songwriting, I have a route I can take. Maybe there's some forks, I can go this way, this way. But I know those roads. I still have the experience behind me.
Something I've always known about the screen is that if it's anything in the world, it's literal. It's so literal that there's a whole lot you can't do because you're stuck with the literalness of the screen. The stage is not literal.
As you go through life, there are thousands of little forks in the road, and there are a few really big forks-those moments of reckoning, moments of truth.
In Eden I "saw" that Adam or Eve probably spoke each word FOR THE FIRST TIME and that seemed wild and seemed to me that that might have brought them to some essence of language. Once I "saw" the city, I knew it was real. once I saw that a poem was a house, i knew it was real and could go back to it or else write a flurry of poems around it, both worked.
If you see someone lying out knives and forks consistently, but then one day those knives and forks become weapons you're not sure if he does that as a warrior, that's just his thing.
Manchester City didn't pay all that money for me because they saw me once on YouTube. They saw me scoring good goals. And I haven't forgotten how to score goals.
I once saw professional soccer up there in Seattle, the Sounders. I went and saw that. I'm not a big soccer fan, but watching a live game is unbelievable. And then I went to Italy and saw a soccer match; it's something everyone should do once. It'll blow your mind.
I've been shy twice. Once when I saw Matthew Bomer and once when I saw Adam Levine. I couldn't say anything, literally.
There's a literal track: who says what to whom, what are people wearing, etcetera. And there's the abstract track: what ideas are suggested by the literal. And the real movie takes place in the relationship between the literal and the abstract.
Ive been shy twice. Once when I saw Matthew Bomer and once when I saw Adam Levine. I couldnt say anything, literally.
Everybody always asks me, 'How much can you bench?' I'm like, 'I don't know. I don't lift weights.' Now that I'm in college, we lift weights every once in a while, but not maxing out. We do things with a weight vest on... That surprises people, too, how strong you can get by just basically lifting your body all the time.
Before breaking into music, I had various jobs: forklift driver, driving a courier. But I was forced into working rather than doing it off my own bat because that was my dad's way: you got a job and paid your way.
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