A Quote by Mitch Hedberg

An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs.
If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.
The problem with revenge is that it never evens the score. It ties both the injured and the injurer to an escalator of pain. Both are stuck on the escalator as long as parity is demanded, and the escalator never stops.
I always walk up the escalator on the Tube, and I live in a house with a lot of stairs, and that's good exercise, but you need more than that.
Walking is a great way to exercise, and we can find ways to take additional steps each day by parking a car farther away from a destination, climbing stairs instead of taking the elevator or escalator, and walking during occasional breaks from sitting at a desk.
The voice is always in my head. In fact I aspire to be more like Mario. What could be better than rescuing and falling in love with a princess, right? Someone who faces every challenge in life with a cheerful Wahoo! In London a bike messenger stopped me and said ‘You’re the bloke who does Mario’ on an escalator. So naturally I go ‘Wahooooo’ all the way up the stairs.
There is no escalator to [hockey] success only steps.
I always observe the people who pass by when I ride an escalator. I'll never see most of them again, so I imagine a lot of things about their lives... about the day ahead of them.
It was like stepping on to an escalator; I could do anything. I was just made for science.
That's the original problem from which the escalator mess stems. There's just too many of them.
The other night I was walking down the stairs behind one of my daughters. I was tired, and she was goofing around, you know like kids do, doing all this stupid stuff on the stairs. And I was thinking, please just go down the stairs and let's get you to bed. It's after your bedtime. I've had enough for one day. And then I sort of caught myself. I snapped out of it. I was like, 'dude, you should be dancing down the stairs behind her'!
I'm building a glass pyramid over the Egyptian escalator where my body will be mummified, so my customers can come and see me forever.
Climb the ladder to success escalator style
The best escalator to opportunity in America is education.
Life is like an escalator. You see, it carries you on regardless. And you might as well enjoy the view and seize every opportunity while you're passing. Otherwise, it'll be too late.
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