I came back from vacation and I ate everything. I mean I'm sipping cocktails by the pool, thinking I'm a size 2. And now, you know, my dress is tight. So, I need it, too. I always need to remind myself: It's okay.
Sometimes I remind myself of all the things that make me feel so blessed. And then I remind myself to remind myself more often.
I always try to remind myself, when it's tough, when your body's sore and you're hurting, I try to sit back and tell myself, 'Would you rather be doing anything else in the world at this moment?'
I'm trying to un-polish, like 'reset' myself. I'm trying to take myself back to when I first came in. That's what the fans miss and that's how they accepted me, so I kind of want to go back and give them that.
My aim was always to come back and prove myself because that is the type of character I am. Whether I get the chance is another thing, but I always want to prove myself.
When it's time to let go, I don't look back, and I start another project as soon as possible. One thing I remind myself is that I don't want to Photoshop my past.
I appreciate it everyday. I'm like, 'I can't believe this is happening to me.' I'm so thankful. I feel really lucky and really blessed. I remind myself all the time, because it can go as quickly as it came.
If something boils up under stress later, I remind myself to breathe and focus back to how I decided my day was going to go. It's simple but it works.
I try not to read the negative comments, and when I do, I let it roll off my back. I remind myself that there will always be haters as long as you are in the public eye.
The thing that upsets me the most is the entitlement of people that will stand with a flag and say to some other people that they need to go back to where they came from. When, in fact, they also would need to go back to where they came from, because you need to go all the way back to the beginning.
I used to live in a village, and I always loved listening to old people. Unfortunately, it was always women who were talking, because after the war, very few men were around. I spent my entire life living in the village. The village is always talking about itself; people are talking to each other as the village makes sense of itself.
I remind myself to be grateful and remember where I came from.
I, and others like me - trap stars - we always considered ourselves Robin Hoods: we go out and get the money. Just think, if you was in the village and you a hunter, you take pride in going out to hunt the prey and bring it back for the village to eat. In our situation, we took pride in getting money so that the hood could eat.
There are some days that I have to remind myself, and I have to give myself affirmations, and I have to go to yoga or do something nice for myself. I get nervous about putting myself out there, but I want to encourage others to use their voices, too.
There were so many people who were instrumental in helping me get better. They say it takes a village, and the tennis community has been my village. That's why I've always felt that I have a responsibility to give back.
The two years out on loan were about trying to get experience and work as hard as I could to make sure when I came back I could give myself the best chance to get back to Chelsea and get in the team. That was my goal.