A Quote by Natalie Portman
People think the film industry is going to corrupt me, but I feel like it's kept me more innocent, in a way. I wasn't really home when my friends were trying pot for the first time. I was always around adults who wouldn't smoke or curse or do anything like that around me. I don't do things that are dangerous to myself. I don't want to hurt myself
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It's not normal for me to feel jealous. I'm competitive with myself more than anything. And anyway, all of my friends in the business are bigger than me! Most of them are musicians, and I think music takes them to a whole new level. For me, I'm going to try out music, but it will be more fun than anything else. I'm really trying my hardest to become a well-respected actress. All I really want to do is movie after movie after movie. I love acting, and I want to create that so I can be around for a long time.
I always want to spend time around people who lift me up and make me feel like my best version of myself. So if I can spend time around people that make me laugh or something like that, that's incredible.
I don't get in vote in whether or how people remember me when I'm gone. It's really dangerous to sit around and worry about it too much, for me. It gets me way too in myself to worry about what people are going to think about me when I'm not around anymore.
I'm still a tomboy. I mean, I obviously dress it up slightly more, but when I'm just me, I'm still very casual. I love comfort. Comfort is very key to me because I spend most of my time in very uncomfortable things, so it's all about trainers and flats. On a shoot, if they're like, "Play around a bit," I'm going to be climbing on top of things and jumping off, and people are going to be trying to stop me, like, "You mucked this up," and, "You're going to hurt yourself," while I'm flying around in heels, just being crazy.
One of the things that I've worked my way out of doing, and I knew that I needed to, was comparing myself to other people. That just poisins everything. It all of a sudden dtermines even clothes you're going to choose to wear that day or what you're going to do with a music production or how you're going to sequence it. It poisinseverything. Your real job in the world is to be you. Comparing yourself to other people I think that hurt me more than anything. Allowing myself to go there so much in my head hurt me.
I do feel like I owe something, but not to the industry. When you say "industry," I think of a group of people who don't really care much about you and treat you as a commodity. So, in that regard, I don't feel like I owe anything. But the people who've always been supportive of me and have always seen me for my greatest potential-those are the people who I feel like I owe something to. I feel like I am their voice. I owe it them to represent them in a way that they can be proud of.
Career-wise, there are so many things where you don't get what you think you want. I've had to make space for, 'Do I let that debilitate me and make me feel bad about myself? And make me feel like I need to change myself in some way?' Because I think changing myself is very different from growing and learning.
I'll have pot in my home for guests - I'm polite! - but I don't sit around and smoke by myself, ever. Not like I did when I was young.
I know there were periods of times where I didn't feel understood, and there were very few people around me that I felt like they really got me. There was one person who was sort of the one in my life that really got me.In general, I felt a little bit on the outside and not totally included. There was a period of time when we were moving around a lot. So I couldn't really hold on to a certain set of friends. And so that was a little bit difficult.
I like poor materials. I couldn't see myself making a bronze sculpture - it's not me. I like neon, because it's moving constantly and like drawing. The chemicals going through the neon turns me on really - it's sexy. I like fabrics, but one of the main things with objects is that I really have to love them before I can use them. I have to have the object around me a long time. The little chairs I used in my last White Cube show are ones that my dad bought for me. A sort of a psychometry with objects and things. It's like the pieces I've made are my things.
So when it comes to being a role model to women, I think it's because of the way that I feel about myself, and the way that I treat myself. I am a woman, I treat myself with respect and I love myself, and I think that if I'm holding myself to a certain esteem and keeping it real with myself, then that's going to translate to people like me.
I look back and I look at all the opportunities that I've had to work really hard and really challenge myself, and I like to do things that scare me. I like to do things that I don't know if I'm going to be able to do. I need the help of talented people around me. I love that it's a collaboration.
Music feels like therapy, actually. A lot of people come out of a therapy session and feel like a weight has been lifted - I got it out, I cried, I feel good. I think for me this is just my way of doing that. It's the only avenue I have that fulfills that, that makes me feel good about myself. And I don't mean that in regards to the rewards, or like getting some good review. That's not what it's about. It's more about trying to please myself. It's really sick and weird.
Once, I was at a party...This was at a time when it seemed like I had everything. I was young. I was undefeated. I had money. I`d just moved into my own home. People at the party were laughing and having fun. And I missed my mother. I felt so lonely. I remember asking myself, `Why isn`t my mother here? Why are all these people around me? I don`t want these people around me.' I looked out the window and started crying.
I still feel like I've got a lot of great football in front of me and the way that I've taken care of myself better the last few years. I think is going to put me in position to be able to play really well late in my 30s and even in my early 40s, possibly, if they'd like to keep me around that long and I can still play a little bit.
It's important for me to say something, and with wisdom if I can. I don't think there's anything wrong with just going out there and having fun and goofing around. I want to experiment with that too. But yeah, I feel like I have a responsibility to produce something hopeful, and maybe inspirational to people. When people come up to be and tell me how my music has changed their lives, that only encourages me to take it more seriously. Sometimes I get annoyed with myself for getting too serious, but that's just what I need to do.
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