A Quote by Natasha Leggero
Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.
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My friends who have babies can't do anything. You can't go out at night. Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.
Someone told me that having a baby is like having your heart walking around outside of your body, and I didn't understand it until I had a baby. Now, like, everything he does literally crushes my heart. In a great way. And then if he's in pain, it's like my whole endeavor is to make sure he's not in pain.
Inflation is really like drugging the baby universe with speed. The supercool union of the hitherto unfriendly gods was blessed by amphetamine, and this made the universe inflate rather than just expand. The early orgy of expansion in the universe comes to an abrupt end as soon as the supercooled particle stuff finally freezes.
I get this a lot: 'Oh, can you take a picture with my baby? Can you hold the baby?' I don't want to hold your baby! I'll hold my baby. I don't like holding someone else's baby. I'm serious! You never know what could happen. It's such an awkward position you're put in, and it's like, 'No, sorry.'
I always wanted to be married for a little while before a baby. You know what? It does make me choose my wardrobe differently because if I wear something a little baggy, I'm like, "No, it looks like I'm having a baby!"
Having a baby is like suddenly getting the world's worst roommate, like having Janis Joplin with a bad hangover and PMS come to stay with you.
All of a sudden I had a baby, because it went really quick. It was like, "Oh! I have a baby!" So, it's great. I'm just having a great time with my children. They're here in New York with me.
All of a sudden I had a baby, because it went really quick. It was like, 'Oh! I have a baby!' So, it's great. I'm just having a great time with my children. They're here in New York with me.
On the way to the delivery room, I almost changed my mind about having a baby. I wouldn't have found it so hard to go ahead with it if I had realized that having a baby was the only way I could ever become a grandmother.
For me, there's a big difference between having a baby in your 20s and having a baby in your 40s.
Instead of having a baby, why dont you get a tattoo of a baby first, and see how that works out for six months to a year, and then see if you're ready to have a baby.
To me having a party is something like having a baby. The fact that you got through the last one alive is not somehow sufficiently reassuring now.
I was watching Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? And I was thinking, "Why don't they just call that the female seahorse?" You know it's just some stubborn scientist. "Yeah, that one there's the male seahorse." And his assistant's like, "Uh, Bill, that one's having a baby." ... "The male has the baby. You're fired."
It's scary having a baby, especially as a first-time mother. I think a lot of women can relate to having a moment during the process where you're like, 'You know what? No thanks, I don't want to do this anymore.'
I don't want to scar people with my baby flab. I have this extra skin that's hanging. I'm in shape, but my skin, from having a baby, is not cute, hanging off of my baby.
But for me, I knew that if I had a baby, I would have to take care of that baby, and I wouldn't have been happy with a nanny taking care of my baby and walking into the room and having my child run across the room to another woman.
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