A Quote by Nellie McKay
I'm just kind of sick of music. I don't know what I want to do. It's not that I feel suicidal or anything, but I just want to end this life. I just want to be somebody else now. Sometimes I feel like that. You always think, "If I just cut my hair really short and dye it brown and put on a little goatee, no one would know it was me, and I could..."
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Lyrics are what I tend to tear hair out over and they're where I tend to feel weak musically, if I'm being very honest. It is not something I feel like I know anything about; I would not consider myself a writer. I just want to sing, I just want to sing a melody, I just want to feel a melody, and be part of the song, and everything else is not so important.
I don't know if I would want to come back as anything but me. I feel really satisfied. I don't really want to be anyone else. I just feel like I've gotten everything I signed up for as me. I'm happy as me.
Sometimes I think, 'Maybe I could have a drink or two.' But then I think about it, and I just don't want to. It's just not in the cards. I know what I feel like now that I don't drink. I know what it feels like not to be hungover, trying to put my legs on.
I just think that the gifts that God has given me and the attention that I have, I just don't feel like acting is the limit of it. I just feel like there's so much more that I could do...And, you know, every day I wake up and I try to do a little more and I just want the world to be different and better because I was here.
I really like red hair. I think if you have brown hair, you want blond hair; if you have blond hair, you want blue hair. We always want what we don't have. It takes a while to admit, Hey, it's just part of me.
I can't relate to the idea of suicide. I guess I'm just one of those people that is always optimistic and upbeat. But one day, I sat down. I said 'You know what? Just to kind of purge myself, I want to see what its like to feel that low'. So I decided to write a suicide note. Yeah, just to kinda flush it out there and put it on a page. And I started to do this, and I had an epiphany. I'll share this with you: a suicide note that is written by somebody that is not suicidal is called an autobiography. I am on Chapter 58.
If I could, I would not do anything else. I'd just be in the studio for my whole life. I would never go to parties, events, and red carpets. I would rather just be in the studio for the whole time. I don't even care. Nobody has to know what I look like. I just want to make music.
For me, I just never put all my eggs in one basket, so to speak. I know that music and acting now are things that I want to do for the rest of my life. But, if suddenly that was to stop, I'd actually be okay. It's not the be all, end all of my life. I know who I am, outside of this, and I think that's a really big thing to have.
Some writers are writing one great, big book and just taking all these different avenues towards it. They might seem on the outside to be different, but they're really not. And that's a different kind of mindset. I don't know why it is, but I just feel like I really want to escape myself as much as I can - myself as the artist, or as the writer, or as the thinker - with each new project, because one, it's just boredom, but also, I guess I just feel most comfortable starting a new book if I just feel a little in the dark about it.
I just don't really listen to music. I'm probably missing out, but I don't want to know what everybody else is doing. Nobody is strong enough to not be influenced. And I don't mean influenced by copying - I'd be influenced because I wouldn't want to do what someone else is doing. I want to be able to do whatever I feel like doing and not worry about anything.
I just want to make everybody feel what I'm singing. And just to relate to me and know that this has been dream since I was a little girl. I've worked so hard for this, and I just want them to connect with me.
I feel like it's just so important for child and teenage development to have music in your life, honestly. And I just think it's really, really, really rewarding to me, personally, just emotionally, to know that I might have brought that into someone's life. And that just means a lot to me, because I know how important it can be.
The point of my music? The point I just want to get across is I'm me and I exist. Just letting people know who I am. Ever since I was young, I was the little attention grabber; I always loved attention. I want to grab people's attention. I want them listen to me and know that this is really good music. Whether they like it or not, they're gonna listen.
One of the things that really does annoy me is just comments on my hair. Like 'your hair's not tidy,' or 'Ooh, what's this?' Just little comments that I just think are so inappropriate. Sometimes I'm just like, 'Is it really necessary?' But you know, as a black female, you do learn to just brush these things off, which isn't the way it should be.
You really just want to know that somebody loves you for you. Sometimes you feel like an ATM machine with a wig on it.
You want to make a little money, and sometimes you want to play some really great parts. Sometimes they don't always coincide, or co-exist. Sometimes you've got to do good parts for no money and... You know, I sometimes can't do movies just for the money. I really can't. I mean, I've tried. Believe me, I'd love to just take the money and run. That might just be part of the equation, but there has to be something there. You have to be somewhat creatively satisfied.
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