A Quote by Nicholas A. Christakis
We and others have done a bunch of work to show that if your real friends online say or do something, it affects you. But if your acquaintances online say or do something, it does not. People on average have about 106 Facebook friends, but only 5 or 6 real friends.
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I'm not even on Facebook. I've got enough friends I never see. You know how you have a lot of friends you never call? I don't have time for new friends, and I don't want to be friends with someone only online.
To me, being popular means I've got more friends. You've got to watch who your friends are, if you want to get close to them, but I've got a lot of acquaintances. And then, you've got to be real careful who your friends are, because you never know why they're your friend.
You can be tweeting strangers and saying, 'Don't say that,' but are you saying that to your friends? How about your mom? Your boyfriend at the dinner table who says something homophobic? If you're not saying the same things in person that you're saying online, then what are your tweets doing?
We could not have launched Causes without Facebook Platform, providing real identity and real friends. Facebook Platform was created so that experiences that are inherently social in our off-line lives could be brought online as an authentic expression of who we are; Facebook did this best in revolutionizing photo sharing.
I dislike the phrase ‘Internet friends,’ because it implies that people you know online aren’t really your friends, that somehow the friendship is less real or meaningful to you because it happens through Skype or text messages. The measure of a friendship is not its physicality but its significance.
Now, the term 'friend' is a little loose. People mock the 'friending' on social media, and say, 'Gosh, no one could have 300 friends!' Well, there are all kinds of friends. Those kinds of 'friends,' and work friends, and childhood friends, and dear friends, and neighborhood friends, and we-walk-our-dogs-at-the-same-time friends, etc.
I really have to thank Facebook ... I didn't know what Facebook was, and now that I do know what it is, I have to say, it sounds like a huge waste of time. I would never say the people on it are losers, but that's only because I'm polite. People say 'But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.' Well at my age, if I wanna connect with old friends, I need a Ouija Board. Needless to say, we didn't have Facebook when I was growing up. We had phonebook, but you wouldn't waste an afternoon with it.
But I really believe that when you give people authentic identity, which is what Facebook does, and you can be your real self and connect with real people online, things will change.
You can have your opinions, and you can share them with your friends, but why would you go online to tell a stranger something random about their appearance? I don't get that.
The social web can't exist until you are your real self online. I have to be me. You have to be you. Once we are online as ourselves, connected to each other and our other friends, then you can have the evolution of what becomes the social web.
Actually, I only have a few friends in real life. And when I say friends, I'm referring to those people who I've known since the 1960s.
A big barrier to people getting help with online harassment is the general attitude either that it's not a real issue - that it's 'only' online - or that it's limited to someone saying they don't like you, and all of that stems from a basic misunderstanding of what we mean when we say 'online harassment.'
I am thinking of actual cases of adolescents, lets say, who think they have five hundred friends, because there are five hundred people on their Facebook account. But these are the kind of friends whose relation to you is that if you say 'I bought a sandwich'; they say 'did it taste good?' You know, that's a kind of interaction, but very different to having a real friend, somebody who you can actually talk to.
I was a painfully shy, awkward kid, with low self-esteem and almost no social skills. Online, I didn't have a problem talking to people or making friends. But in the real world. interacting with other people - especially kids my own age - made me a nervous wreck. I never knew how to act or what to say, and when I did work up the courage to speak, I always seemed to say the wrong thing.
I not only work online through my various projects, but I am an avid user of online technologies to connect and engage with friends as well.
For any healthy relationship to work you have to be able have that time to spend with your friends. And to have a healthy relationship with your friends - and to be honest, if they "know you", pardon the pun, then they'll understand that you need to spend time with your partner. If people are pulling at you from both sides then maybe there's something a little off balance within the relationship. But it also depends on how you are as a person. You need to set the guidelines quite clearly, and say "I need my friends im my life. I got with you, but my friends are part of me also".
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